When the Poo-Poo hits the Whirly Dirly …

 images2(3)This the sad tale of the Washington State Pooper, a small lonely soul, who just did not have a good day.

A man in Washington state fleeing police after a car crash doused himself in human excrement to evade police dogs.  (Yeah I know, you think I am making this up, dontcha?)  He allegedly was drunk when he backed his jeep into a condominium’s carport demolishing the structure. 

When police showed up to investigate he fled into a portable toilet and doused himself with a bucket of human waste.  He later told police he thought the “dogs were coming, and he wanted to throw them off his scent.”  I am pretty sure they would have picked up on him right away.  Now everybody, all together now ……… Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewew.

dog blood hound
“Do you use Dial … Don’t you wish everyone did?”

This morning I am reading where the Mar’s Lunar Lander is now roving around the Red Planet and it is transmitting the sound of a human voice.  I wonder what it is saying ….. “Hello I am from Earth, you have been chosen as a finalist in the Clearing House Sweepstakes! … Hello I am from Earth, you have been chosen as a finalist in the Clearing House Sweepstakes!”  

Hillary has chosen her running mate … It’s Big Foot!  

California has become the 4th state to sell lottery tickets at the pump, now when you fill up, you can purchase lottery tickets and gasoline at the same time.  Leave it to California to figure out a totally new meaning to the words “getting hosed.”

So goes Thursday, the initial start up point for a slam-bang weekend for a five day a week wage slave in the Red Fly-over State somewhere on the prairie.

Check your vitals. 

This is the new slang on the street, it means to:  “check your e-mail, FakeBook, Instagram, blog.”   Then put your butt in gear and head on in to the Salt Mines.  

On Saturday (last) I briefly tested or messed around with a new word, Pac-Manning.  This is where you straddle the white line on the highway and get the distinct euphoric feeling that your are eating the little dots that Pac-Man did in the game.

But alas, wiser heads prevailed.  Wife made me stop, claimed I almost hit a car or something …  There went my “High Score” for the day, just cannot seem to catch a break here lately.

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Disclaimer:  Events portrayed in this post may or may not have occurred in the manner presented and are for entertainment purposes only and should not be construed as the truth in any way, shape, form or manner.