Stars and Bars, I Love The South.


confederate flag
Let’s see, you come on FakeBook, to complain about FakeBook, on FakeBook. 
Isn’t that redundant?  No good huh?  Okay follow the link to the real questions of the day.

When I look at the night sky and marvel at all the stars, the complexity of the space, I just know that out there, somewhere, there is an alternate universe, where people do not post stupid crap on FakeBook and friend alien life forms they do not know.

How do you get an eighty-one year old woman to use the F Word?
Sit down beside her and then yell … Bingo!
Spell a word that begins with F and ends with K.
FIRE-TRUCK
(Yup, I missed it too)

There is no way in hell they can get $5.00 in a bag of popcorn, I don’t care how good the movie might be.
My neighbor sold his house, today he was saying goodbye and said, “You will really like the couple that bought the house, nice people.”
So I said, “Yeah, what Mosque do the attend?”

confederate flag

Be advised.  In compliance with the recent National hysteria concerning the Confederate Flag, I am now removing any and all examples of such, whenever and where-ever I come across them.  Save your Dixie Cups the South will rise again.

Who decided that trendy mens’ footwear should look like bowling shoes?
When did charming start passing for funny?
Aren’t we as a nation sophisticated enough to hunt down and kill our enemies without constantly referring to them as “evil”? 

Who cares, I mean really cares, where it is that you work?
Disneyland has banned “Selfie-Sticks” isn’t anything sacred anymore.
How are you to defend yourself from a flesh eating, foaming at the mouth, rabid rodent with big black ears and white gloves that you come across, after eating two Prozac behind the hot dog stand and polishing it off with a nice lukewarm Merlot.

Shouldn’t fashion models look a little bit like us?
Voo-Doo Okie DeJaVue, yesterday at the Post Office a woman walked out that looked eerily like my Ex-Wife, and I immediately dropped to the sidewalk and pretended to be dead out of habit I suppose.
Man, that was close.  It also made me think of this song:

 And finally, why can’t I shake the feeling that the infinite emptiness that gnaws at my soul and refuses to be filled by any external means is the secret engine that drives our entire culture?   

I eagerly await your comments. 

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