My T-Shirt reeks of mustard and pickles, guess what I had for supper? (By the way, “thank you for sharing that with us Mr. Smith”) You want to know what I had for supper or dinner (lunch) just sniff my shirt or look at what is on it. This post is #1,700 and we now stand at 1,309,975 visits to this page since April of 2008.
Have no earthly idea as to how long this FakeBook insanity has been going on, figure about a year or maybe less. Presently, I am trying to make FRIENDS outside of FAKEBOOK while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street I tell any passerby what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do after.
I give them pictures of my wife, my kids, my dog and me spending time hiking or riding the trails in our area. I also listen to their conversations and I tell them I love them.
I already have 3-persons following me:
TWO POLICE OFFICERS and a PSYCHIATRIST.
FakeBook being what it is, doesn’t really fill the gap for me. That is why I do this, each day I sit down here, with my three legged cat, a cup of micro-waved coffee from yesterday’s brew and try to figure it all out. Trying my level best to come up with a way to pass on my Superior Gene to Humanity and prolong the species existence in order to send (Most likely by Proxy) a healthy, robust, magnificent specimen to the nearest planet for future colonization.
Of course … I usually have nuthin.
As I don’t watch The Walking Dead, and David Letterman pulled the pin, and moved on. My happiness choices in life are somewhat limited, so I often stand next to the water cooler in my shop. I stand there totally alone and talk quietly about Murder She Wrote. Which always confuses the hell outta the dog and gives me something to do in the shank of the afternoon.
But what I’ve found most interesting is that after all these weeks, and yes, now months of my self-inflicted drivel, I’ve discovered myself scrounging for new beliefs. Things about which I could stand up and say with pride, “I believe in this, dam***!”
Now that’s not to say that I couldn’t fill the comment with a lot of mindless aphorisms about FakeBook people, a proud species that walks upright, but from time to time, but often has a profound tendency to drag its knuckles.
So do I waste my precious moment in the sun by proclaiming, “I believe that sex with multiple partners in a moving vehicle isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?” No, I do not.
Do I squander this priceless opportunity to announce, “I believe we are better than the animals because we’re capable of reading in the bathroom?”
Once again, I do not.
And so it is for this reason, I have no beliefs to share with you today. No wait … actually I do … Stay off Fakebook, they will rip you too pieces and of course unfriend the crap out of you in just a matter of days. Those folks are not as understanding as the guy’s who hang out here.*
* A special shout out to Joey, our West Coast correspondent, who was the inspiration for todays post.