High School Rag … Nitty Gritty

Did we really do that?  Incredible, I can clearly relate to that “One Guy” in the video.  Yes, boys and girls, the truth it seems, is indeed, stranger than fiction.  In my case, “it is downright incriminating” when presented in a court of law.

As the date of my 50th High School Reunion inches closer and closer, I gaze at the mark on my torn, well worn calendar hanging next to the refrigerator in the kitchen.  Almost as if hit by a ton of bricks, the enormous reality of this hopeless situation begins to sink in. 

Time to face the facts. 

I am not going to be able to lose 75lbs of excess body-fat that I became friends with in the early nineties.  I am not going to grow a good robust crop of gray hair and resemble an Oklahoma Robert Redford look alike.  I will not be able to bank $2.5 million any time soon with Wells Fargo, or rent a limo and driver by September.

I do not understand why a lot of my classmates seem to have held up well over the years, and I resemble a hard driven-beat up Ford Pinto with a half-a-tank of fuel.  Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?”  Some will freely associate with terms like:  “Awesome girl” … “You look great! … “The years have been kind to you.” 

In my particular case the word “well-preserved” may be sprinkled in the conversation here and there, from time to time throughout the night-time event. 

My methods to cope are not working. 

Even tho, I keep hitching up my pants to cover up my chin, which is now a stomach, it apparently isn’t helping matters all that much.  And I suspect, by the time I do get there, I will be nothing but a pair of black trousers with ears! 

To me the answer is logical, simple and crystal clear … If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.

Having given up hope on hooking up with any of my old flames, I suddenly realize that even smoking in the bathroom is now out, as I stopped smoking some twenty-five years ago.  This is coincidentally about the same time my serious Twinkie/Ding-Dong addiction materialized come to think of it. 

Like my old man said, “Time to face the music, you want dance, you have to pay for the band.”  No hooking up.  98% of all the lovers in the world, are not with really their first choice.  That is what makes the jukebox play.  At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for. 

Time to face the facts.  I am a pair of brown shoes in a Tuxedo World, no doubt about it.  I need at least another fifty-years to make it to the point of being “half-way presentable” and we all know that is not going to happen.

Oops!

Did I roll just my eyes out loud?

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One thought on “High School Rag … Nitty Gritty

  1. We had our 50th school reunion in 2010 for the class (s) of 1960-1961. Been combining those reunions going back to the 5th one. I’ve made the same mistake at ALL the reunions that I’ve been asked to attend, in that I just get to babbeling on and on with a handful of old classmates and don’t move around to more tables !
    Recently attended a high school luncheon ( they’re held twice a year) in San Leandro, CA. It was great to see two gals from the class of 1960 show up, as I’d not seen them since the 50th reunion in 2010. Had to ask if they had any “feelers” about one more reunion possibly? Even with the excess $2000 left over from that reunion, the answer was a “no”. At our age now, economics, health, travel, and yes the “I don’t care” or “don’t bother me no more” comes up in said conversations.
    In your case, there are a lot of classmates that know of or knew of you on the old Alumni site, that’d probably like to see you again, shake your hand, and start with those “compliments” you’ve written about ! I’d sure like to meet with you ‘n yours if you do decide to come to the “left coast” if only for a brief time !

    Time has a way of throwing a wrench into the best of plans, always seems that way to me. At our age now, we are hooked in pretty good with the medical proffession. It does cost a lot to travel, and we are on fixed incomes. I decided to retire and live off my savings Joey, the first week was okay, but that second one ….. well you know.

    It would be good to see a majority of them, one in particular would really make my day, and she is going to be there … I would almost make the trip just to see her. But it is not going to happen. I no longer have a working link for the reunion website.

    Rest assured, if I get into the state or in your area, I will hit you up.

    Don

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