Give Me My Lane or Move Over


Have been home about a week now, back in “the swing of things” familiar surroundings, smells, routines.  It is always nice to get away, and believe it or not, I am ready to head out again.

On the other hand, the wife is not.

Driving to town yesterday on the Super Slab to purchase even more LED’s to light up the Mothership and perhaps attract Charlie Sheen, I looked over at my bride and said, “You ready to do it all again?” and her answer was a firm, resounding “No!

(What else would you expect from a woman who has thirteen episodes of Date Line on her DVR?)

There seems to be no wanderlust in the woman’s soul, she will never make a good trucker.  One thing I have noted that definitely hinders her, is her inability to make up her mind on what her super-secret-CB-code name will be.

This could very well be a problem. 

Back in the day, as a friend of mine always puts it, we would find me hauling apples out of Washington State to Dallas or dead-cluckers out of Arkansas to the West-coast.  So I am used to the road, it is always calling my name, like a lover in the dark.  I often think of it, even today, it is right there, just four miles down the road from my little Goat Farm in Oklahoma.  But as with all things in life, it has changed.

Folks talking on Cellphones, Texting, throwing Chicken Bones out the window.  CB Radio is now void of good chatter, a lot of people on there speaking Farsi or Spanish, not a whole lot of interesting things being said (unfortunately it all sounds like gibberish to me).  To be candid about it, I am not sure where they are from, but pretty much sure it isn’t Birmingham or Atlanta. 

Most of the Road Monkey’s (Professional Drivers my butt) out there are not as courteous as they used to be, and the volume of traffic has increased exponentially over the years to where it gets downright crowded at times.  Not only on the trucking side of the scale, but on the travelers side, I note a big change. 

Could be the influx of immigrants (illegal or otherwise) filling the roads of America.  A great many folks now are driving, owning a motor vehicle in this country, for the first time in their lives (which was impossible in their country of origin).  This has definitely proven to be a challenge for some of them.

Take the woman we came across in New Mexico recently. 

This woman is driving for first time on the highway.

Her husband calls her cellphone and says:

Be careful honey, It’s just been broadcast on the radio, that someone is driving opposite to the traffic on the highway…”  She replies: “Someone? These idiots are in hundreds!

(yeah I know, but whadya expect for free anyway)

Slowly I am learning to move amongst them and still do my thing.  Sharing the road with some who clearly do not know how to drive.  Which is fine with me, if I have learned anything in all my years, it is how to be flexible and adapt to change. 

These days, I am more than willing to share the American Highway with all of them.  Just wish they would stop throwing all of their trash out the window.