Slam Dunk By The Numbers …

Old guyHow you doing on your New Years resolutions? I seem to be doing pretty good, hit a few and missed a few, but all in all, the prospects of being successful are good.

To my astonishment, this is the year I feel I will beat 70 percent of my fear of succeeding and I have dissolved 80 percent of my tendency to sabotage my ambitions. Not only that. I have almost reconciled my checkbook at least twice, and that is encouraging.

To my great satisfaction, I shed 70 percent of my “martyr everybody doesn’t understand me complex,” lost 45 percent of my fascination for glamorous suffering, and smashed at least 85 percent of my perverse attractions to the victim archetype. I am now only marginally afraid of the dark, and can for the first time in years, sleep with the lights off.

A full three hours a night.

I started walking two miles per day, and as of last Tuesday, I was within eleven miles of Amarillo, Texas. Having lost something like 24 pounds since the first of the year, I am no longer as big as a barn, about the scope of a medium sized tool shed now.

So far this year, I have met many new people and expanded my network and reached a bigger audience. Truly life has been kind to me, I no longer fear pasta made from semolina and shaped in the form of slender tubes. I’m ecstatic that I have deepened my connections with pragmatic idealists who share my core values on this and other web-pages thru out this nation and some regions of Asia minor.

Things are truly looking up and the New Year so far, seems to have promise. I have come to be a citizen of a totally New World (Live Journal), and have just discovered I have at least one new friend here. It is my profound hope that in the late hours of the night, I will hone my messages and scribbling so well that I will have even more profound influence than ever before. It is entirely possible by this time next week; I could have at least TWO new friends here.

But that remains to be seen.

This year, is living up to the promise of high expectations. There is the distinct possibility that my application at McDonalds has been approved. I will now be able to sign up for the new work-until-you-die minimum wage program for Seniors. I can now finally put my resume fabricated Batchelor of Liberal Arts degree (G.I. Bill) education to work for me. Did you want fries with that?

And finally, there is the distinct possibility that I may have been approved for the paper route in my neighborhood. Why not, I am always up and never asleep at this ridiculous hour anyway.  Just this morning I set a new personal all time, record number on my bathroom scales.

This has, so far, proven to be one of the best years … Ever.