Friends With Benefits …

images-2Bill and Barbara had been married some twenty-one years, and to most everyone else, they appeared to be the normal happily married couple.  But Bill had a secret, that his wife Barbara was unaware of, he had a mistress or a Friend With Benefits as the younger set is prone to describe it.

He would meet with her occasionally and then they would after a leisurely lunch sneak off to a secret rendezvous.  There in the little garden of forbidden secrets, Bill would reach up and partake of the sweet fruit within easy reach. 

Wednesday morning in the big city.  Things in general for Bill were going along rather nicely, good job, trophy wife at home, lawnmower started on the first pull Saturday morning.  It appeared that nothing could possibly go wrong in life for Old Bill.

This morning he is in the shower, soaping up and getting ready to greet the new day.  Barbara notices his cell phone lying there, along with his cash and car keys.  She picks it up and starts looking at his text messages and incoming calls, and at that time discovers Bill’s naughty little secret.  He is having lunch today with his mistress and she makes a note of the place and the time.

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At the appointed time she drives to the restaurant and parks.  Walks in, spots Bill and his lady, walks across the room and right up to the table.  “Hi honey, who might this be?” 

Bill is of course, quite taken aback at the moment, and has no quick answer.

Words are exchanged, the girlfriend gets up and leaves. 

Barbara looks at her husband and says, “You will give her up.  You understand?”  Bill shakes his head, and then says, “Nope, she mine.  And I am keeping her.” 

Then again Barbara restates her position, “You give her up.  It is either her or me.  Do you get it Bill?”

Bill replies, “I am not giving her up, she is mine and I am keeping her.  End of story.”

About that time Barbara notices a friend of theirs walking into the restaurant with a woman on his arm, that is clearly not his wife.  She looks at Bill and says, “Who is that woman with Frank?” Bill looks up and says, “Oh, her?  That is his mistress.”  Barbara says, “You suppose Angie knows about this?” 

Bill says, “I don’t know.”

Barbara watches the waiter seat them in a cozy booth in the corner.  She says to Bill “How long has he had her?” 

Bill replies “about a year.  Why?”

Barbara said, “I just wondered.  For what it is worth honey, I think ours is a lot better looking.”

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imgres-3Here you go, the complete list, just in time for the weekend!  Ten reasons you may find it more interesting to monkey with another monkey’s monkey on the sly ……

You may be genetically predisposed to cheat.
Women think men with deep voices are more likely to cheat.
Democrats are more tolerant of cheating than Republicans.
Having an affair may increase the risk of a broken penis.
Cheaters find their spouses more attractive than their affair partners.Men who cheat are more likely to have heart attacks than non-cheaters.
Women are more likely to cheat if their mothers were cheaters.
Cheaters love taking their dates to Morton’s The Steakhouse.
Most millennial’s consider flirting online to be a form of cheating.
Wednesday is the most popular day for people to cheat (well of course it is … that is Hump Day).  All The Information here :  10 Reasons People Cheat.  

In South Korea they have just passed a law that “legalizes adultery” (and you thought getting high in Denver was bad?) thus making it completely legal in that country.  You an lady order special, real good, and get free dink. 

I am so outta here 

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One thought on “Friends With Benefits …

  1. A good one to ponder as we head for the weekend!

    Give me some shunshine!

    Like

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