Out To Lunch

Yesterday me and the Mrs. we drove to Oklahoma City and went out to eat.  Hate to do it this far away from payday, but we had not been there in quite sometime.  The drive into town is not so bad any more, we have a new interstate connection, six full lanes, each one homesteaded by a driving impaired lane change dummy.

The food was good, tried this new restaurant just opened by a Mexican Family and their Black friends, it is called “Nacho Mama’s.  We didn’t have a problem with lines or any of that, because we are old geezers and we go for the Early Bird Specials and beat the rush. 

All in all, it was an enjoyable afternoon, the drive back was uneventful and serene.

The only complaint I have is the same old gripe I have and that is this:  I loved the day and the food, the trip to the big city.  It is the thirty-five minutes we spend on each other, when we get home, checking for rat bites and new bullet holes.  That sucks.”

My wife has asked me to stop “sharing with her when I write something I consider amusing.  She says “it is making her face wrinkle, and I have been asked to stop.  Might have to tell her she is wrong, it is “too many Birthdays that is wrinkling her face. 


Not her loving, wonderful Stud Muffin, Take-Me-To-The Motel-Love-God from the fifties!

(224 words, we are on a roll …. Hang On!)

The cute Miss America wanna be, the one with the nice tah-tah’s and Golden Blond hair steps up to the microphone and the host says to her, “Here is your question.”  She looks at him intently and he says, “If you had a choice between saving the world and ending hunger on the planet or owning your own personal Dinosaur, what would you do?

Long pause, “Do I have to name him?

A friend of mine called and said, “Hey I am getting married Friday, what can I expect?”  I replied, “It is gonna be real good at first, then it will change.”  He said, “What do you mean it will change?”  So I said, listen, I will try and explain to you as best as I know.  Get a big jar and some jelly beans … “Every time she is friendly with you, put one jelly bean in the jar.”  Then on the second year, you do the exact opposite, except for one thing.  “Every time she is friendly, take out two jelly beans from the jar.”  His face got that deer in the headlight look and he said …“Why?  What is the reason for this?

I said listen Billy Raye, “You are gonna discover that you filled it up a lost faster than you emptied it, watch n see.

Have to go, Dr. Phil is on, he has a Oregon Westcoast LumberJack Tycoon with a 45′ Prevost Bus, 6’3” tall and weighing in at 245lbs.  He is going to ask the doctor why he cannot stop his 4’8” 102lb. wife from beating him up.

Should be pretty cool … let you know.