Off The Wagon …

 

It is my sad duty to report to you this day, that I fell off the wagon.  Yes, as hard as I tried to relieve myself of this addiction to Coffee, I did not make it.  Just four days, and then I succumbed to the elixir of life, the Caffeine that my body screamed for.  I am an absolute failure, a man of no discipline and this one simple vice.

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As I felt I had no other alternative, I rushed over to China-Mart and bought one of those new fangled coffee brewers.  A shiny little miracle of the modern age that will make 12 cups or 1 cup at a time, via this dinky little cartridge plastic thingy (Okie-Technical-Talk).  The initial “test runs” have proven successful, and we have even figured out how to squeeze two runs out of a one-run cartridge thingy …  Looks like it is going to work.

Here is an email that we found in the box this week we would like to share with you.  A woman’s prayer and then a man’s prayer.

First the ladies prayer.

Before I lay me down to sleep … I pray for a man who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong … One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks … One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s rich and self-employed … And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand … Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen … A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other … And relish visits with my mother.

And then there is the male version of the prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big hooters who owns a bar on a golf course,  and loves to send me fishing and drinking … This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t really care … Hand me the remote and then go get me a beer.

The person who provided us with this little ditty requested we keep him/her anon (for obvious reasons)  We sincerely hope that some of this has helped you thru your day, and if you are not locked down rock steady in your relationship with the man of your dreams, we can offer you a solution …  there is always an expert waiting in the wings … to help steer you down the path of life in your journey of commitment. 

When I do discover his exact location, you will be furnished a link to his FaceBook TimeLine.

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