You Have Mail …

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Recently when Sony Corp. was hacked and embarrassing emails were leaked, it occurred to me that this could be the best thing to happen to this generation of conversation-challenged people. If sending a colorful, conversational or nasty email becomes a danger, then perhaps they will all have to start talking again. Me? I am not apologizing for nuthin, why should I start now.

Believe it or not, in Korea they are referred to as “The Tribe That Looks Down” because of their obsession with electronic devices.

Yesterday was National Chocolate Day, a day set aside for you to cover with Chocolate anything your heart desires. Please ladies, if you did take a picture of Harvey in his chocolate covered banana sling from Fredericks Of Hollywood, don’t post any pictures of it on FaceBook.

Turbulent time in the City of Angels … The family calls the police, they state that their brother is out of control and acting crazy. The police show up, the brother then attacks them with a hammer, the police shoot the brother and he dies. Now the family is all up in arms because they wanted the police to help their brother not shoot him.

So let me see, if you are cop and someone comes at you with a hammer, you are supposed to just stand there and take it?

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One more, a little bit closer to home and I am outta here.  Norman Oklahoma, “Police this morning discovered a body, wrapped in chains, hanging in a tree.” Foul play is suspected … Gee, do you think so?

Discover Channel interviewing a convict who killed his entire family and set the house on fire … “Why did you do it?” asked the interviewer.  Convict replies, “Well, they was all home.”

Thank God for prisons.

Let me know if you did not get the email.

Jus Sayin 1216

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She had that sad look in her eyes,
I could tell she was upset
maybe it was depression
or
just the battle scars of time

Looking at her I said:
“If you need a shoulder to lean on baby, I am here for you.”
And she said
“No thanks.  The smell of Ben Gay waters my eyes.”

Often life is like that, you never know
what is coming down the pike

I was in the restaurant yesterday,
kind of crowded,
but I still found a good seat

At that time,
suddenly quite by surprise my stomach growled deep down inside
This feeling came over me and I knew
I desperately needed to pass some gas.

The music in the Cafe was really, really loud,
so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs,
I started to feel much better.

Finishing my coffee I looked around the room
and noticed that everyone was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my I-Pod.

Man, I just hate it when that happens.

Jus Sayin

Under The Radar …


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Okay, Okay … Everything is going along just purrrrrrfek.  The new Interstate section is now open and the traffic is moving smoothly, only takes me 35 minutes to get to the doctor’s office and the hospital.  No one flipped me off, and the wife didn’t have to re-load when I changed lanes, it is gonna be a good day.

Time to check in.  

They have this new hand scanner thing that identifies me and I don’t have a lot of paperwork to contend with, I am a happy camper.  A nice looking lady walks into the room and calls out “Number 28” which is my number and she leads me to a room.  

This is when I first see …. IT. 

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There I am introduced to this huge do-nut looking machine and a whole lot of gauges.  My anxiety level seems to surge looking at this thing that ought to be in a Star Wars feature, it is massive.

She tells me to disrobe and put on the free-flowing don’t look while he is walking away gown and some slippers. 

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Just to be on the safe side of the hospital attire scale, I snatch a second robe and cover up the first robe.  She sits down next to me and begins a series of questions.

Do you have or ever have questions:

Do you smoke
no
Do you drink
no
Do you cheat at cards
No
Do you trifle with other peoples women
no
Have you ever secretly watched Martha Stewart or Kathy Lee Gifford video’s
Absolutely not!

Do you have:

Heart Disease
Yes
Diabetes
Yes
High Blood Pressure
Yes
Cholesterol
Yes
Have you ever been operated on
Yes, six times
Recently
Yes

Do you currently have cancer?

That is when I lost it. 

Jeeze lady, you don’t think I have enough on my plate right now to say Grace over?

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I am now seriously considering moving to Asia and trying some acupuncture treatments, now that, looks interesting.

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