Jus Sayin 1201

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This holiday season give the gift that keeps giving.

If you were one of million of people planning on flying home today so you could return to work … Most likely is not gonna happen as more than 3,000 flights were cancelled or have been delayed across the U.S.

There will be a short delay …
The Captain will make an announcement soon
In case of an emergency water landing your seat will turn into a floatation device
Uh huh, yeah sure.

A man was shot in L.A. this weekend after wielding a steak knife at an officer
Small child was gunned down after pointing a toy gun at a cop
I got a ticket for “No Seatbelt” which is stoopid, I had the belt, I just wasn’t wearing it.
Cover me … I am gonna change lanes.

Brown Thursday … Black Friday … And now Cyber Monday.
Stop the world I want off.

Jus Sayin

WayCar Willie … The Boss of the Mainline

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Waycar Willie sat in the kitchen, sipping on a cup of fresh coffee and silently contemplating the day.  Occasionally glancing out the window, as a brown leaf rushes by, blown by the wind. 

He thinks to himself, “A good day to be inside.  It looks colder than eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt outside and he is glad he is home this day.

The phone on the wall across the room breaks the silence of the morning, and he slowly gets up and walks across the room to answer it. 

He says “Hello?” and the voice on the other end says to him, “Is this Bill?” and he replies, “Yes.  Yes it is.

The female voice on the other end of the line inquires, “Are you the one they call WayCar Willie and do you work for a railroad down in Oklahoma?” 

Again he replies, “Yes.  I am WayCar Willie for sure.

The voice on the other end seems to be rather familiar, but so far he is having trouble putting it together.  In the fog of this midweek early morning, he tries hard to wrap his head around this dilemma, he concentrates hard on the voice.

The voice says, “Do you know who this is?” and WayCar Willie says, “No I am sorry, but you are going to have to refresh my memory a little.

She said, “This is Shirley.  We met at the union convention in Omaha.  You remember?  You took your hand and started up the inside of my leg, and I said to you … What are you doing? and you said … “Looking for my library card” and we laughed hard and long.

Later on” she continued “We went out on the town and did it up red, we had one good time after another and ended up in each others arms at the Holiday Inn.  You kept saying over and over.  You are such a good sport Shirley.

You remember that?” the voice on the other end of the line asked.

He quickly replied, recalling the past events vividly now.

Well yes.  I sure do, what’s up Shirley?

After a short pause, what they call “an awkward moment” she replied, “Well Bill.  I am pregnant and I am considering killing myself.”

Another section of dead air and then WayCar Willie said, “Say Shirley, YOU ARE A GOOD SPORT … AREN’T YOU?”

So goes but another segment of WayCar Willie … The Boss of the Mainline.

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Remembering Lainie

This is the Eulogy my sisters best friend gave at her funeral service.

When Stu asked me to share a little about my friend, Elainie, I was honored.  Lainie and I had always joked about when we’d be old  and oh, the stories we could tell!

We first met in 2nd grade – two precocious 7 year olds – and together we navigated our growing up years.  Through Brownies and dance lessons, cheerleading and school work.   Lainie was my first “sister” friend – someone I could share everything with.  And we did share everything – we could talk about boys, parents, makeup, hair styles…

I remember once, just before our senior pictures, Elaine was going to trim my long hair.  I ended up with the first A-Line hair style – you know, where it’s shorter in back than on the sides?  But it wasn’t by design – she just kept saying, “Let me just even it up a bit….”  Fortunately the back of my head didn’t show in the pictures!

Sometimes on Friday or Saturday nights we’d come home from our dates and sneak over to each other’s house and sit up all night talking.  Once I fell asleep over there and my mom called in the morning saying I wasn’t at home, was I over there?  Lainie’s mom went to check and came back to the phone and said “Well, there’s someone in bed with Elaine and I sure hope its Sue!

And then there was the time we got arrested for being out after curfew.  We pulled the classic stunt of telling our parents we were each spending the night at the other’s house.  Our friend, Rich Elliott’s, parents were out of town for the weekend and they’d left him the car, so we decided to drive down to Santa Cruz for breakfast. 

It was about 4:00 in the morning when we got pulled over and all three of us were taken to the Santa Cruz City jail.  They put Elaine and me in one of the holding cells while they arranged transportation to the juvenile facility.  While we were waiting we carved our initials on one of the bunks in the cell.  Yeah, we thought we were really tough — till our parents showed up to get us! That didn’t go so well.

Following high school, Lainie got a job at the phone company in San Jose and rented a little cottage there.  I was taking classes at Chabot College in Hayward and met this guy in my Humanities class.  He asked me out and said he had a friend who could double with us if I had a girlfriend who was available.  So I called Lainie. 

The date didn’t really go as planned – I liked the friend better than the guy I was with – and Elaine like my date better than his friend.   I don’t remember what happened to the friend – Bob something – but that night was the beginning of a 47 year romance between Stu and Elaine that has truly been a pleasure to witness!

Once we started having our families, instead of boys, clothes and hairstyles, Lainie and I shared parenting ideas, household tips and recipes.  Even today, some of the recipes that I got from her are still favorites with my kids and grandkids – I think of Lainie every time I make Sloppy Joes and apple/raisin/celery salad!

We used to spend Thanksgivings together when Stu and Elaine lived in Las Vegas. Lainie and I would fix the traditional turkey dinner with 5 or 6 little ones under foot. And we had our own routine – one of us would start cleaning up after dinner and the other one would get the kids bathed and ready for bed.

Then we’d stay up till all hours talking and sharing our experiences of raising kids and finding our way in the world.  I’d never had a friend I could share so much with…. And she was FUNNY!  She could put a humorous spin on anything – and we’d just laugh! That’s one of the memories that will stick in my heart forever when I think of Lainie – the talking and just laughing about life!

Over the years I moved around a lot – New York, San Diego, Los Angeles, Colorado.  Lainie and I used to send cassette tapes to each other full of our thoughts and experiences.  But as we got older and our lives got busier our correspondence dwindled to birthday and Christmas cards and the occasional email.  Our kids grew up and we became grandparents.  The last Christmas card I got from her she signed “I have always loved you, Sue”.  I remember thinking “That’s odd – I know that!” But I wonder now if she had a premonition of what was coming and just wanted to say it to me one more time.

To Lainie’s boys – Damon, Brian, Kevin and Jonathan – I hope I haven’t shocked you with these stories of some of our escapades.  I just wanted you to know that when she was young, before she became your mom, she was daring and adventurous, funny and fun-loving, with a bit of a wild streak! She was so eager to see what life would hold for her.

For you Stu, you two had quite the love story! For me you were an example of what a happy marriage could be. Witnessing your love for one another over the years, through all the ups and downs – and especially how lovingly you cared for her over the last several months – is truly the epitome of your vows “to love and cherish, for better or for worse”.  As much as I will miss Lainie, I draw comfort from knowing that she got to be part of such a relationship with you and that she was loved so dearly.

Thank you Sue for sharing this with me.

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