If I Were My Bus


A bus nut can always relate to his old bus.  If my body were a bus, about this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull … but I can still amuse and amaze.

But that’s not the worst of it.

If I truly were my old bus, you would discover that my headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close.  My traction is not as graceful as it once was.  I slip and slide and I sometimes skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.  My huge tires are stained with varicose veins.  It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here’s the worst of it  — 

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.


“Wow … Wow … Oh wow!” …  I may be old, but baby, I am the best you got.