The Home Show

imgres-22010 … Ah yes, as if it was only yesterday.   It slices, it dices, it is three kitchen tools in one, easy clean up!  You can make your own Pico De Gallo or fresh Salsa at home, no more trips to Taco Bell in the middle of the night, think of it!  Only $39.99, she bought two.

2012 now you can, with this device, roll your own rice rolls, you can have your own sushi rolls, all kinds of neat stuff, only $50.00!  To this day I have never dipped one chip or handled a roll … Vacuum cleaners, hip resizesrs, bird houses, roofing, exercisers, sewing machines for $12,000 and sleep beds for only $4,000, garden tractors, critter feeders, where can you find all of these things ….. at the Home Show.  (Don’t laugh … What the hell, beats walking old peeple laps at the Mall early in the morning)

Over the weekend, we attended the Home Show in Oklahoma City.  This is combined with the Gun Show and it is usually packed to the gills, so we went on the first day, in hopes of beating the rush.  As it turned out, this was a good move, although crowded, it was not as packed as in years before.


As I like to study people it was a target rich environment for me the entire day.  Most of the people we saw were grayed out baby-boomers, the youngsters have to work on Friday.  Old geezers, we can just do whatever it is that we want, so that was the underlying theme, old is in and young is out. One thing I happened to notice was most of the men are coloring their hair and the women are not.  That is a totally new wrinkle. 

The home show is sort of a microcosm of all the things in life that you want, but are unable to afford.  In our neck of the woods, the big sellers were storm shelters, above ground, below ground, steel fabricated, all concrete.  A profound testimony to the often violent weather world we live in here on the plaines.


Most of everything we observed, we had seen in shows of years before.  Not a whole lot of new entrants into the home show arena I am afraid.  One thing that was new, a bottle of water had jumped to $3 and I told the Channel Nine booth television celebrities about it, but I seriously doubt if they will do an expose’ on rippin off the elderly … Just aint gonna happen. imgres-1

Parking at these events is always a problem. 

Most of the vendors get there early in the morning, to set up and get ready.  Therefore all the prime parking space (except for the handicapped) is taken early.  The show itself doesn’t open up until after 11 A.M. so by the time we got there, most of the close in spaces were taken.  So I started orbiting around and soon came across a space between an SUV and a late model Corvette.

As I still know how to parallel park, it was easy for me to just slide into this space, and driving a small Chevy Truck (HHR) and still allow ample room in front and rear of my vehicle for the other space holders.  We then went to the show and walked around for some four hours and hit all five buildings.  Sometime in the late afternoon we decided to call it a day.

Walking up to the truck I noted the SUV in front of me was still there, but the Corvette had long since disappeared.  In its place was some soccer mom van and it was neatly tucked up right on top of my truck.  In other words, no room to back up at all, possibly some three to five inches max. and that was it.

Behind the soccer mom van was a good 3 to 3.5 feet of space to the next car.

This of course as Clint Eastwood would say … “Really Made My Day.”  This a sore spot with me, bad parkers, people who are so inconsiderate of other people, who block you in, or present you with exit problems.  Having spent some 2 hours waiting on someone to move a car at the State Fair one year, they have managed to carve out a special place in my heart over the years because of  their ignorance. (In the state fair incident, I finally called a cop and a wrecker and it was towed, the people never did show up)

Friday afternoon it took me the better part of fifteen minutes, jerking the wheel around, pulling up on top of the SUV and then backing up 6 to 8 inches, jerking the wheel backing up 6 to … well you get the picture, don’tcha?  I cursed the very ground that this person walked on, even implied at one time, that it was possible that she/he was spawned from unmarried hill folk of Missouri or something to that effect.

Finally after a considerable amount of trouble, and a much elevated blood pressure,  I managed to extract the truck from this nightmare of inconsideration and pulled in the front of the SUV.  It was there where I sat in the front seat and wrote the note …. Listen, learn how to park or stay home!  You really jacked me around today by parking right on top of me.  This is why it took me 15 minutes to get my truck out of the box you made for me and why you are changing your !@#$#! flat tire.  Next time leave some room.”   I put the note under the windshield wipers, took off the valve cover cap on her/his left rear tire, placed a small pebble in the cavity and loosely put the cap back on.  Then I walked away to the sweet sound of air escaping from the valve stem and we went to lunch.

So ended our trip to the Home Show … A little bit more exciting than it usually is, but then again, that is what it is like in Oklahoma City these days.  It is often not easy being a cranky old geezer, a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Next year I am staying home.


A special thanks to my favorite home builder for the complimentary tickets to attend.