Just My Luck … One Of Those Days

DSC01671Here we go!  Thinking outside the proverbial well wrapped holiday box.  It is cold and rainy outside and I cannot go diving in fountains late at night for loose change, and stealing the wishes of small children.  So today I will stay inside and work on this.

It happens to the best of us every now and then, one of those days, when life just doesn’t seem to gel.

Look at the Snapple Bottles, someone screwed up, and I always wonder “How many of them went thru upside down” before someone figured it was not just right?

But then again, I am a little bit left of center most of the time anyway.

What’s For Supper?  An Australian man lost his savings when he hid $15,000 in cash in the oven, on the mistaken belief that his wife never used it.  The man had just sold his beloved sports car to make a mortgage payment.  But after he put the money in the stove for safe-keeping, his wife turned it on to cook chicken nuggets for their children.  Everything was sort of okay, until the burned bills filled the kitchen with smoke.

The Mouse That Roared.  A Canadian man nearly blew his own head off while trying to kill a mouse with a rifle.  Yes, I said “a mouse with a rifle.”  He tried to crush the scurrying rodent with the butt of his rifle, but when he slammed the weapon on the floor, it discharged.  The bullet grazed his head, but did not badly wound him.  No word on what happened to the mouse.

An elephant and a mouse got married.  The next morning, the little mouse woke up and rolled over only to find his elephant bride had died during the night.  He shrugged his shoulders and sighed, then said, “Just my luck.  One night of married bliss and now I spend the rest of my life digging a grave.”

Yeah I know … Whadya expect for free?

High Price Of Winning.  With the soaring value of gold these days, did you know the average gold medal at the Olympic’s contains only 1.34 percent gold?  At current pricing for the precious metal 100% gold would put the price of the medallion at over $25,000 each.  This would bring the price tab for the games to about $40 million all total.  That is a lot of gold in anyone’s book.

Cover me I am changing lanes.  Florida is now the #1 state in the nation for concealed weapons permits.  80% of those permits are issued to men, and they are predominately middle aged.  Some 15,000 permits per month are being issued in the Sunshine State.

I want the truth!  You can’t stand the truth!  Here it comes … Should any one of you be offended at this, first ask yourself: Can I handle the truth?  Two magazines, Country Living (95.99% white readership) and Ebony-Jet (99.99% black readership) did surveys on “What do people fear the most?”

The results were interesting, to say the least …  Country Living magazine’s top three answers were:

1. Nuclear war/terrorist attack in U.S

2. Child/spouse dying

3. Terminal illness

Ebony-Jet magazine’s top three answers were:

1. Ghosts

2. Dogs

3. Registered mail

No Kidding. Who are these people who do these so-called survey’s and where do they live?

It pays to be grouchy.  It is now possible to lose your job in 29 states for being gay.  Companies can legally fire you according to the Human Rights Campaign, which is a gay, lesbian, and transgender civil rights group.  So it is best to be bitchy, cranky, out of sorts like the rest of your co-workers if you want to make sure you stay viably employed in this day and age.  Just be hateful and mean, gay isn’t going to cut it.

No, wait a minute, I might have that one wrong?

Starbucks Parlors.  A South Carolina funeral home is opening a Starbucks in their lobby and the funeral home owner hopes it will help people in mourning.  To help them get their mind off of what is going on.  Wonder what they will call it?

Time to meet your mocha.

Still above the ground cafe.

Latte for your own funeral.

Oh well, like I said, “there are days like that” … b’sides the word count on the first draft, came to 666, and I just could not allow that to stand.  After all … A positive anything is better than a negative nothing.

See you at the water-cooler.

OOO

Here is a sampling of what folks have been reading this week at Creative Endeavors:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Off The Wagon  
Clear Blue Sky  
The Worry Tree  
Pavlov’s Dog  
Goin With The Flow  
Change Of Heart  
A Moment In Time  
Mr. Gorsky