I hit another ticket on the lottery, this time it was $18.00. This month, for some reason, I am on the plus side of the scale on my lottery playing. Which presents another terrible anxiety in my life, “Will I be too old to spend it when the Big One finally rolls around” and Lady Luck smiles upon me?
Much as I hate to admit it, things change. There are no more easy answers, no more low hanging fruit hanging from the tree, each day presents a totally new problem for me it seems.
You see, another birthday has come and gone.
I am one year older, and my friend Jon says I complain too much. Bill Cosby once said, “Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and the obituaries.” So I have made a concentrated effort to do something different in my life these days.
The coffee is good this morning, I am savoring it and reading the latest offering on the bus boards, I am not so much into obits. Often change is hard to embrace, but we need to try. Like it or not, we all start out as caterpillars and we end up beautiful butterflies what we do with the rest of it, is our choice.
In the past I have written about the things in my life that effect me negatively, but today it is going to be different. I am going to try and be upbeat about it all. In the past I have been known to write with a somewhat remorseful tone or project a sorrowful attitude in salute to the dog days of my life … What optimistic and positive folks call The Golden Years.
One thing I have noticed here lately that is somewhat profound about my golden years is this. I have long ago become invisible to young women. They actually do not see me. But I am not writing this to complain. I am at peace with my circumstances. The blessing of sixty-five is a libido in decline.
The curse of it is that major pharmaceutical companies are successfully exploiting my insecurities. Suddenly that surreal commercial of a silver-haired guy sitting nude in an outdoor bath tub and holding hands with a naked, slightly younger voluptuous woman in an adjacent tub makes perfect sense.
To me it does … My wife on the other hand is oblivious to its meaning.
After an ocean of time, we still do not see things the same way. But it is in the total scheme of things. I read somewhere that while creating wives, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.
And then He made the earth round.
(See, at this age, you have new found wisdom.)
Sixty-five years old, roughly twice as old as my bus. Ironic, isn’t it? Incidentally, my bus is, most likely in better shape, as it has had regularly scheduled maintenance during its lifetime.
Not long ago, I met an old tymer (sp.), now this guy was OLD (94) and I was amazed at some of the things that he had seen and experienced in his lifetime. My life pales in comparison. Soon I will be just like him I am afraid, starting all of my sentences with “back when I was a kid, or back in the day or I remember when.”
Which is of course … A dead give away.