Shell Oil Sucks Part II

Not all that long ago, I wrote a piece about my current dissatisfaction with all the fine folks who work at Shell Oil in the credit card collection department.  Here is a little footnote here to clarify.

I am not sure who it is I hate the most.  As Shell farms their credit card purchases out to Citigroup, they take the collections and issues are handled out of South Dakota.

So as you can see, I am not all that sure, who it is that I hate the most.  The number I called said “Shell Oil” so that who this is directed towards.  If Citigroup wants a piece of it, there is plenty to go around.

Here it is in a nutshell.

I call them, push one, if you are human, push two, if you have our credit card, push three, if you live on the planet earth.  I tell them that they have a problem, they put me on hold for almost 15 minutes and then dump the problem, that they have created right back on me.

That dawg just did not hunt as Billy Raye Littler is fond of saying.

At this point we get into the “language thing” (the word damn, as I am not writing YOU another DAMN check) and I get the lesson on civic’s from some sweet little tart that most likely only graduated from a South Dakota high-school because she let Butch do her algebra and she did him nocturnal favors below the belt-line, in her Daddies hay-barn on Saturday night.

I now discover that I am an “employee of the oil company” and at their beck and call.

At that time I told her no way, no check, you made the mess, YOU straighten out.  Then I get the rudeness lecture, which I did not have until I was put on hold while my first born male soon graduated high-school and finished three semesters in college before they got back to me.

So I drive the six miles to town to talk to the banker about “the Shell Oil problem” and he assures me that they can only cash the electronic payment (check) ONE TIME and says “go ahead and cut them another check for the $200 difference, I can assure you, they will not run it thru the bank twice.”

Returning to consciousness I believe I heard …. “We will catch it and deny them the money.

As I am not all that fond of bankers, and trust them about as much as the occasional snake I run across on the back of the property from time to time, I decided to sit on the whole mess and see what transpired.  As my Daddy used to say … “Sit back and wait for the dust to settle and the fur to stop flyin.”

Which has always been good advice.

This morning I checked my bank account.  You have most likely have already guessed what is coming next, haven’t ya?

The account came up, and sure as Dallas, there it was.  $25.00 debit cancelled, and redeposited as a credit to the account.  Then two lines above it  … Shell Oil $225.00 (the original check that could NOT be run twice) another electronic payment on the SAME check.

So without hesitation and because it is my site, I hereby proclaim here and now that …. It’s National ….  I LOVE THE OIL COMPANIES, CREDIT CARD COMPANIES AND BANKERS WEEK.  Find an empty chair somewhere, sit down and talk to it.  And of course …. Send this to everyone you consider A FRIEND in the above three named entities.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around. I sincerely hope that when aliens from another world come to this planet, the first thing they do to these people is find some oil soaked Arab and shove them up the ass of these American Arabs in South Dakota.

And my darlin’ little wife cannot figure out why it is that I need to get out of town?

See you later.


4 thoughts on “Shell Oil Sucks Part II

  1. One time i was buying 4 tires for my truck and went i swiped the card it said that the transaction had not connected and to do it again. Did not go thru until the 4th time……a month later i got the statement and found that all 4 had gone thru. Buying 4 tires was one thing, but paying for 16 tires and only getting 4 is “a whole nother thing” I went to the tire company and they were able to straighten it out right away with no hassle to me luckily.


    • I did the same thing Ed, only it was not tires, it was tools. The clerk swiped it “3” times and I ended up with three purchases, two of which did not exist. I am increasingly using the card less and less, this is just the latest in a long line of Snafu’s and I am tired of it.



  2. Your battle with Shell DS, my battles with ATT ! Tried getting one simple answer from 7 different “english” speaking “techies” (yes, asking for an American supervisor does work !) as to why my email password suddenly disappeared for no apparent reason?
    After answering all their questions that they ask to make sure YOU ARE the ATT customer, I ask why I cannot get a temp password over the phone? Um, that’s their policy says them; either via snail mail, or a none-human voice within four hours !
    So I ask: how much credit will I receive for the downtime I’m experiencing not being able to access my very important emails??? I’m still awaiting another supervisor above them to provide me an answer.
    Meantime, after I’ve cooled down, set the DVR to record and make my way to bed, methinks I’ll try one other step. So I access dear ol’ ATT once again, and see the option for “online chat person” and say WTF, why not? After typing back and forth as to what seemed to be a War And Peace novel, Nancy my chat person asks if I’m trying to access the billing section of ATT? No, says me I’m just trying to get SOMEBODY to give me a temp password OVER THE PHONE so’s I access my emails !!! I waited for 3-5 more minutes ready to just hang up and mumble filthy words to myself. However, she comes back onto the phone and says go to site whatchamacallit. I go there, and her next entry is a temp password of which I’m told to punch in. WALLAH ! Instant emails !!!
    Before signing off, I ask Nancy the obvious question: Nancy, you’re the 8th person I’ve talked with regarding the stupid policy of ATT regarding passwords. How is it that YOU, and by the way you’ve been super patient with me, can come up with said temp password? She typed back: My supervisor went into HIS bag of dusty ol’ tricks enabling you to get your emails !
    I just don’t get it with corporations that hold customer’s daily dealings with life like this. I mean I TOLD these people who I am, they VERIFY this info on their screens, and still I’m looked at like some spy or whatever in that if given a password verbally over the phone in real-time will cause their system to come crashing down !!! Go figure.


    • It has turned into some kind of predatory mine-field for the consumer in this country. Best count your change and keep a sharp eye on what is going on, let me tell you.

      For the record on our latest trip, I drove by a plethora of Shell Stations and did not give them one thin dime.



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