Not all that long ago, I wrote a piece about my current dissatisfaction with all the fine folks who work at Shell Oil in the credit card collection department. Here is a little footnote here to clarify.
I am not sure who it is I hate the most. As Shell farms their credit card purchases out to Citigroup, they take the collections and issues are handled out of South Dakota.
So as you can see, I am not all that sure, who it is that I hate the most. The number I called said “Shell Oil” so that who this is directed towards. If Citigroup wants a piece of it, there is plenty to go around.
Here it is in a nutshell.
I call them, push one, if you are human, push two, if you have our credit card, push three, if you live on the planet earth. I tell them that they have a problem, they put me on hold for almost 15 minutes and then dump the problem, that they have created right back on me.
That dawg just did not hunt as Billy Raye Littler is fond of saying.
At this point we get into the “language thing” (the word damn, as I am not writing YOU another DAMN check) and I get the lesson on civic’s from some sweet little tart that most likely only graduated from a South Dakota high-school because she let Butch do her algebra and she did him nocturnal favors below the belt-line, in her Daddies hay-barn on Saturday night.
I now discover that I am an “employee of the oil company” and at their beck and call.
At that time I told her no way, no check, you made the mess, YOU straighten out. Then I get the rudeness lecture, which I did not have until I was put on hold while my first born male soon graduated high-school and finished three semesters in college before they got back to me.
So I drive the six miles to town to talk to the banker about “the Shell Oil problem” and he assures me that they can only cash the electronic payment (check) ONE TIME and says “go ahead and cut them another check for the $200 difference, I can assure you, they will not run it thru the bank twice.”
Returning to consciousness I believe I heard …. “We will catch it and deny them the money.”
As I am not all that fond of bankers, and trust them about as much as the occasional snake I run across on the back of the property from time to time, I decided to sit on the whole mess and see what transpired. As my Daddy used to say … “Sit back and wait for the dust to settle and the fur to stop flyin.”
Which has always been good advice.
This morning I checked my bank account. You have most likely have already guessed what is coming next, haven’t ya?
The account came up, and sure as Dallas, there it was. $25.00 debit cancelled, and redeposited as a credit to the account. Then two lines above it … Shell Oil $225.00 (the original check that could NOT be run twice) another electronic payment on the SAME check.
So without hesitation and because it is my site, I hereby proclaim here and now that …. It’s National …. I LOVE THE OIL COMPANIES, CREDIT CARD COMPANIES AND BANKERS WEEK. Find an empty chair somewhere, sit down and talk to it. And of course …. Send this to everyone you consider A FRIEND in the above three named entities.
Someone once said: What goes around comes around. I sincerely hope that when aliens from another world come to this planet, the first thing they do to these people is find some oil soaked Arab and shove them up the ass of these American Arabs in South Dakota.
And my darlin’ little wife cannot figure out why it is that I need to get out of town?
See you later.