Come On Weekend

Yesterday I did not post anything and here is why.  I was in a foul mood, I am not getting along with Shell Oil and did not feel it was in your best interest to share this with you, so I took the day off.  (If you care to gander at it you will find it here)

Today I am somewhat better, but as I am old and cranky, there are going to be more days like this I am afraid.  So be advised.  It has been one of those weeks.  Really beginning to wonder what there is in life, that is still left to me.  What it is that I have control over, and it doesn’t seem to be much, even tho’ I have made valiant efforts to change over the years.

  • I quit cheating at cards.
  • I quit cussing.
  • I quit drinking.
  • I quit smoking.
  • Trifling with other peoples’ women.

Man, that was the worst twenty minutes of my life. (Seriously, uh huh sure.)

So I kind of figured that there ought to be something left in life for me.  And I naturally figured it was food.  But it turns out that even that is not exactly right.  Did you know that by the time you turn twenty years of age your body has essentially settled on the number of fat cells you are going to have for the rest of your life?

Yes, it is true.

A recent study in Sweden has confirmed this.  Researchers took samples of fat cells from volunteers over the course of several years; they discovered that no matter how much the subjects’ weights changed, their number of fat cells remained the same.  So your fat cells grow and shrink in your body, but they remain the same.  You are actually “friends with your fat.”

Isn’t that repulsive.

All the carrot sticks and rice cakes in the world are not going to change a thing.  All those fat cells in your body are going nowhere; they just shrink in size and nothing more. During your life you will eat sixty thousand pounds of food, the weight of about six elephants.  The average American chews 190 sticks of gum, drinks about 600 sodas and 800 gallons of water, eats 135 pounds of sugar and 19 pounds of cereal a year.  The largest consumer of sugar and corn syrup in the world is no other than Coca Cola.  The biggest selling restaurant item in the U.S. is French Fries.  They estimate that in this country every day, we consume about 200 million M&M’s.

The amount of potato chips Americans eat each year weighs six times more than the Titanic.  A can of SPAM is opened in this country about every four seconds.  Americans on average eat eighteen acres of pizza every day and Saturday night is the biggest day of the week for that staple.  Dunkin’ Donuts serves about 112,500 donuts per day, more popcorn is sold in Dallas than anywhere else in the United States.

Two million different combinations of sandwiches can be created from a Subway Menu. 

We as a society of people eat a lot of garbage that is why the majority of us, are scratching parts of our bodies we have not seen in five years.  This is why when you step onto the computerized talking scale your thoughtful wife gave you on Father’s Day it says to you …….. “Please come back when you are alone.”

Now if you will excuse me, I am gonna go get me a Twinkie, me and “my friends” are hungry.  It’s not easy being a aging baby boomer.  So there it is boys and girls, Friday’s post, such as it may be.

I hate Shell Oil and the wrong person won America’s Got Talent, if it were not for Britney showing a little of her who-hah’s on the X-Factor I would be a total wreck, but that is the way some weeks go.

This week the comedian lost and it all went to the dogs.


What folks are reading at Creative Endeavors this week:

Home page / Archives    
You Don’t Smell Like Flowers (audio)    
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)    
Wood Ice Chest    
Indian Summer    
Clear Blue Sky    
Goin With The Flow    
The Worry Tree    
Survivor Texas Style    
Is This A Great Country or What?