Yesterday Wasn’t All That Long Ago

A century ago, human life expectancy was 47 years of age. The speed limit on most roads was about 10 MPH. I don’t know what the price of fuel was back then, maybe a nickel, that sounds right. The average wage was about .22 cents per hour.

One out of every six homes had a bathtub, and only one out of every ten, had a telephone. Say … Did you know that the bathtub was invented some 74 years before the telephone. Think about it, you could have laid in there and soaked for three-quarters of a century and no one would have called.

Bet that would wrinkle your toes, eh?

Women washed their hair with egg yolks, Coca-Cola actually had cocaine in it. Johnny Carson was just starting out as the host of the Tonight Show. When you talk about old dirt roads, if you start every sentence with: “I remember when Coke’s were a nickel, seven cents (if you kept the bottle) and dogs could not vote.”

You are aging yo’self … Be careful. Many people who are familiar with the workings of the human mind, know how to manipulate us.

I will continue … The Do-Nut Shop isn’t open at this hour, and I feel this compelling urge to free you from your suffering, and awaken you to the transformational power that comes from expressing the old days in nostalgic terms.

Often the truth needs to be packed in great illusion. Just remember the simple rules of life, and you shall be okay, it works for me. Never play cards with a man named “Doc.” Never eat at a place named “Mom’s.” Never, ever, sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than yours. And lastly, “Never, ever, start a sentence with the words, I remember when the earth was warm.”

(Dead Give Away)

Check please!