Red All Over

“So there you go boys & girls, quite possibly everything in the world that you would ever want to know about the color red.  Proof positive that most hacks can write just about anything on the Internet.”

What is it about the color red that gets everyone going?  Did you ever stop to consider all the ramifications that one little color seems to carry or denote in our society?  The color Red is everywhere and is in our lives daily. A red car for instance, will get you a ticket by a police officer faster than any other color, don’t know why, but it is true.  Red used to be the favorite color of a auto makers but I am not all that sure right now, there are a rainbow of colors available.

I do know this …. Red paint will cost you more if you are buying material right now, almost twice that of other colors. When embarrassed what color do you turn? What planet is known as the Red Planet?  What color is the devil in all cartoons?  The color is everywhere.  The doctor looks over your test results, frowns and then says … “I see a red flag here.”

What is it that attracts a humming bird to the feeder, most of them are red in color, the liquid inside the feeder, again, red.  My Mama used to say, “Donnie, you make me so mad at times, I am seeing red!”  Old sayings … “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.  Red sky at morning, sailor take warning.” In the movie Shawshank Redemption, one of the main characters in the movie is Morgan Freeman.  His name in the movie is “Red” when asked why they call a black man Red, he says, “I dunno.  Might be because I am Irish?”  Which is a funny line, I don’t care where you live.  By the way, do you live in a Blue State or a Red State?

Exceeding the RPM limits on a gasoline engine is referred to as “Red Lining.”

Red is the most restrictive signal color on the highway and on American Railroads (Fire Your A** Red) and on indicator or warning lights on appliances and machines.  Wave a red flag in front of a bull, but I don’t believe that one.  Personally I think most bulls are color blind and it is just the movement of the rag that draws his attention.

When your checking account is overdrawn it is in “the red.”  As the sun slowly sinks below the horizon it is called “A Red Sunset.”  When you read positive on a pregnancy test, what color does the stick change to?  Hah!  Gotcha, it changes to Blue.  Just checking to see if you are paying attention or are still here?)

Remember back in school, when you screwed it all up, and the teacher circled on it or wrote on your paper for all the world to see in red.  You cannot get away from the color, it is everywhere.  The tide rolls in at the seashore, and all the fish come with it, victims of the Red Tide. Not to be confused with the Alabama Crowd who proudly boast of being the Crimson Tide.

Now back in the day, when I was young and she was frisky.  She would put on a red teddy or wear some red lingerie and I would just go bonkers.  Something about a woman dressed in Red.  If you don’t believe me, ask Tom Hanks (Lady In Red, The Man With One Red Shoe) or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (Mmmmmm that red dress) the late Patrick Swayze, who starred in the movie, Red Dawn. Why do men pay so much attention to women that are dressed in red?  Because they perceive them willing to have sex.  They are now and have been in the past attracted to women who are dressed in the scarlet color.

Perhaps it might behoove us to take it one step further.

It could be a trait that we learned from apes?  When female chimps achieve their peak fertility, a rush of estrogen opens up their blood vessels, which in turn flushes their faces, giving the males a clear cut signal that they are ready to mate.  When women on the other hand are “in the mood” their cheeks clearly exhibit that rosy color.

Leave it to a man, to always bring it back to S-E-X.  (Which come to think of it, is monkeyingaround, man, I am soooooo good!) So there you go boys & girls, 816 words on red, quite possibly everything in the world that you would ever want to know about the color red or the use of the word red.  Proof positive that most hacks can write just about anything or any subject on the Internet.

Tomorrow we will discuss why “One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever hear.” Uh huh …. sure. OOO