If I Were King

I have a friend, when he wants to get a little radical about politic’s and such, will preface his statement with “If I Were King.”  Which got me to thinking about things today while sitting at the counter and waiting for my food.

It is also important to note that I did not think of Burger King, Larry King or the late Rodney King.  I thought about Feudal Kings, the so-called Lord Of The Manor in some circles.  Those heavy handed guys who never allowed you to “have it your way.”

Things have not changed all that much since feudal times if you stop and think about it.  Hundreds of years ago, it was much the same as it is now, except they did not have Facebook or Twitter.  They had a small percentage of people living the good life in the castle, and then down below, the other people lived in the village.

These people were known as Serfs which in this day and age they would be the “taxpayers.”

Now the king, he was in charge of everything, from raping and pillaging villages to the collection of taxes to pay for the upkeep on the castle and the kingdom.  I suppose in those days, being a Surf was not a chosen profession, nor would it be what most consider comfortable employment.

One day the King noted that the Surfs were being a little unruly and hard to get along with, so he did the only logical thing a King could do.  He stated that if they did not shape up and get in line, he would cut their Surf benefits.

He would cut their feudal equivalent of Social Security, no more free chickens and hand maidens for the feudal retirees, he would stop their feudal disability payments and throw out all unnecessary feudal Retirees out of the castle.

He would also make them pay a tax on their medical benefits, but those he liked, would not.  He did not threaten to stop payments to illegal aliens that now live in the kingdom because of lax immigration policies in his charge.  He did not threatened to take away frivolous benefits such as cheap labor and involuntary servitude of some of his servants that were provided by illegal immigration into his Kingdom.

He did not offer to fire some of the unnecessary feudal employees that he hired to live in his castle to answer to his every beck and call.  He did not offer to cut down on his or his wife’s frivolous gallivanting around and all her numerous female assistants.

He did not threaten to not pay the social climbers, comics of the court, jesters and representatives of the kingdom or any of their staff. He did not threaten to take benefits away from anyone living in his inner circle.  He did not threaten the food supply to those who do not work for their food.

He did not threaten to not pay foreign aid to his buddies or reduce his army.  He did not threaten to cut back on anything that involved his base supporters who in turn contribute nothing to the kingdom.

That was the reality of this unqualified, incompetent, dishonorable, ego-driven fraud who considered himself a King.  Who thru it all really thought he was doing a good job.   But in reality he was actually destroying his wonderful kingdom with his selfishness and his lies.

Now here is the strange part of all this, or at least, what I considered the strange part, while waiting on my two over-easy, slab of ham, and sipping‘ on my coffee. (What the hell?  There isn’t any good news in the paper anymore, what else do I have to do?)

Here is the strange part, it is also kind of ironic.

Every four years, we elect some bozo that acts just like the make believe King above.

We do it all the time.

So as you can readily see, “times have not changed all that much in just a couple of hundred years.”  We still have the inept king on the throne and we are all still his Serfs.  Which I suppose is still good work, when you can get it. That is how it goes …. First yo’ money … And then your clothes.  On some Thursdays‘ reality comes rushing into your world and hits you upside the head like a good shovel.  This is the proverbial end to today’s fairy tale.  The message should be clear.

America needs a new Superman not a Darth Vader.

It could be time to search the kingdom for a better King and we need to do this before someone pillages and burns the village.*


*  Any resemblance to any king, whether living or dead, is more than likely coincidental.

7 thoughts on “If I Were King

  1. The trouble is that they are all the same no matter who you vote for. It isn’t going to change, by the time they get to the point of running for the top spot they have already become that way.


    • Good comment Ed, pretty much the way it is. Perhaps our only hope is devine? We need forgiveness and guidance. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. We have exploited the poor and given them no hope or dignity. We have rewarded laziness and called it change (welfare). We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable… We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem. We have abused power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor’s possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have exported our garbage from Hollywood and called it Art Form. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

      That about it in a nutshell? Thanks for your comment, watch those right-handers.



  2. GOSHAROOTIE ! This story sounds so familiar; I just can’t put my finger on where or when these situations have come before me?
    Perhaps, methinks there might be an Erroll Flynn, Randolph Scott, or maybe a John Wayne out there that can come to the rescue of these serfs and banish this Lord on High ‘n Mighty???


  3. Yes, DS I remember receiving the email that included this’n and all the other western cowboy heroes in it ! I know a good deal of folks have their love of John Wayne and all, but fer me it’s always been Joel McRea, Randolph Scott and half a dozen others over the years.
    Joel was always good in the comedy rolls he played in thru the ’30’s and ’40’s too. Then like his bio says, he chucked all that and said: I’m doin’ nothing but westerns from now on, and that’s what he did. Teamed up with Scott on two or three good westerns if I remember right.


    • Now days all the movies are gizzed up with all this computer crap and they are for the most part, hack and slice type of movies. We stopped going long ago.

      Art recently sent me a link to a sort of western on the History Channel, the Hatfields and the McCoys. But it was filmed in Romania of all places.

      Hatfields & McCoys

      I used to love going downtown to the Ritz or the Hayward and watching a good western (Sh** Kicker) but those days are long gone now I am afraid, and I sadly miss them.



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