The Zombie Chronicles

I.D. Theft is real .. Be Careful.

A full moon on the prairie and of course, following quickly on its heels, come I all sweaty like and bent out of shape.

It is sad to say, but I morph into some kind of werewolf loony when the moon is full.  It might be because a great deal of my physical make-up is water, and the gravitational pull is strongest when the moon is full, I dunno?

But enough of that, today we are going to talk about Zombies.

It seems like every time I sit down in front of the boob tube to watch a little television there is some kind of ghoulish show on.  The tube here lately is filled to the brim with zombies or some other terrible apparition.  We seem to have a fascination with these creatures of the dark, that come out of the underworld to eat us alive.

It used to be in October around Halloween when they all showed up.  But now fugitabout it.  They are here and amongst us all the time.  Only thing that could make them worse (if this is even possible) is to add DiscoverCard or Free Credit Score commercials to the episodes.

As if I did not have enough trouble dealing with life on a daily basis, I now have to worry about some soul-less ghouls who stalk me on just about every channel on the dial, or are on the screen in every movie house in America.  Nothing like a good dose of stalking the living and sharing your dinner or sandwich with a dues paying member of The Walking Dead.

Good to know that besides starvation in Africa, Aids, HIV, runaway radiation in Japan, triple digit temperatures and heatstroke in the Heartland, bad credit, inflation, and not an honest candidate in sight.  We now have to worry about monsters devouring our flesh, intestines, and most importantly … Our brains.

Come to think of it, that kind of describes an elected official of the government to me.

Most of the time the storyline is the same.  The zombies are here to take over the earth, they are going to eat us or destroy us, one way or the other.  (Almost at times resembling the habits and character of an investment banker)  They are on a mission to search us out and do away with us.  In some cases it is almost as if they are a take off on the Nation’s Economy or something like that.  Zombies exemplify all that is wrong in the world, and they take it and twist it around to use to their own advantage.

They thrive on what we fear the most.

As society decays they will be the one’s who are capable of working the new advanced weapons, machinery, growing the food for the nation, repairing the cars and getting rid of the computer viruses.  Urban and suburban aristocrats will no longer be needed, with no social status or value, they will of course, be eliminated.

Which is kind of good in a strange way.

Because with all of this going on, almost daily, and on every channel of the network, it will take my mind off of other things.  Such as worrying about some gay boy or girl selling me a piece of half-cooked chicken at Chick Fillet.

So you see … Everything always works out for the best …  

All you have to do is keep the faith.

Stay cool.