Bon Apetite

Perhaps it is as my wife says …. “There is just no hope for you.”


Whoooooooie!  Starting to warm up, this is the time of the year, the clerk doesn’t say “Have A Nice Day” but will warn you, “It’s Gonna Be A Hot One.”  The long hot dog days of summer are upon us.  It is heating up, much like last year, in record numbers and already above average.  Looks like it is going to be a scorcher on the plains for sure.

As is our habit, we went out to eat last night.  It is still one luxury that we can still afford in this sagging economy.  It is however, not all that enjoyable any more.  At the beanery the other day I noticed that all of the guys are wearing T-shirts and these long gangsta shorts that reach almost down to their ankles, which is just above the flip flops they are wearing.  Now these are older type men, not young stylish dudes on the prowl, looking for a mate and stylin for some good looking thing, hoping to catch their eye and hook up for the night.

These are old, pot-bellied, bald grandpa types … And frankly I just do not get it.

Looking at each one with nothing but disdain I cannot help of thinking about my mother when I was a child, she would look at me and say, “Mister, you get back into that house and put on something that is presentable to wear in public.”  Seemingly overnight, we have become a nation of poorly dressed overweight people.  It used to be just WalMart where you would see these cretins but now days they seem to be just about everywhere.  It is as if we have lost our national pride or our sense of who we are.

It is one thing to be overweight, it is a completely different thing to just flat out be a slob.

Freely I admit to being overweight late at this stage of the game, and I am scratching parts of my anatomy that I have not seen in at least five years.  But I still try to find something that is decent, clean, and somewhat normal to wear, when I go out with my bride to eat.  My elbows are clean, they are not on the table, and I take off my ball-cap when I dine.

Believe it or not … I even wear shoes, no joke, real lace up type shoes.

Being rode hard and put up wet, having taken my fair share of knocks in life, I still see myself as a good catch.  Taking it one step further, I would say “that put up next to these poorly dressed, no manner knuckle draggers’ out on the town for a sumptuous meal with their mate,” that I am a real prize.  After all these years, it is still important to me, I owe it to my mate, to put my best foot forward.  I want her to be proud of her man, not ashamed.

Maybe it is time to move onto more substantial issues.

Like this ball-cap thing, why is it the kid cannot get it straight on top of his head, it is always pulled down to the bridge of his nose and on sideways.  They are everywhere you look at the mall, walking around with their snoop-dawgy-dawg drawers, showing the crack of their …. Oh well, you get the picture, dontcha?  This summer might be a good time for me to just give up eating in buffet’s and going to the Mall.  Who knows, it might even improve my outlook on life.

Like I said, it is quite apparent, I just don’t get it  … Perhaps it is as my wife says …. “There is just no hope for you.”


Cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress Online

4 thoughts on “Bon Apetite

  1. Alas, DS these mouth breathing, knuckle dragging folk are starting to show up at the carshows that I either attend or enter my car in here lately !
    I’m pretty sure that a good deal of your “followers” of your site have seen the Walmart Gang pics, and as you’ve pointed out, they don’t just stay or patronize Walmart !
    When the wife and I had our old 20′ Bayliner boat several years ago, we’d go out and enjoy the day on the Delta. When the sun started to settle below the horizon, it was time to head back to the dock. In doing so, we’d stop at one of the dozens of marinas on the way back. This was in the ’90’s then, and while sitting on the dock, we’d be treated? to the sites of these “older” folk as you’ve described, but instead of the “gang banger” shorts and all, they’d be wearing THONGS !!! Let THAT site settle into yours and your followers, eh?


    • I understand that even the military is now culling them out of the service too. If you cannot run so far in a certain time period, they are discharging them (obese and out of shape) left and right. We were in southern Florida and we saw it all, as you mentioned. Old dudes in speedo’s, thongs that should not have been worn during the cellulite wars on the beach, uh, I mean volleyball. What was I thinking?

      Ah, vivid word pictures for all of us to enjoy, early in the morning.

      Thank you for your comment.



  2. I was at JC Penney in Lawton yesterday helping an elderly gentleman friend find pants. I asked where the khaki’s and nicer slacks were and the employee, a young man in his 30’s I’d say, pointed to an area not far away. No inquiry if we needed help finding a size, no escort to the area (we were the only customers in the men’s clothes department), and he was wearing faded gray jeans, an unironed black shirt, and very faded, ratty-looking athletic shoes. I’d be surprised if he’d run a comb across his hair that morning it was so unkempt looking. He turned his back to us after he answered the question and went about straightening the dress shirts. Later, I saw a gentleman in shorts ask him for assistance in measuring an inseam on a pair of pants he held up, and he said to the employee, “Son, is that how employees dress for work nowadays?” The young man stated they were allowed to dress casual while the store was being remodeled. The customer asked if he was doing the remodeling and the employee said no he was not. Personally, I found his dress and attitude deplorable for a customer service person in a store like JC Penney. This, unfortunately, is commonplace.


    • It is kind of generic to the times we live in, social misfits and uneducated manning the registers, it is almost totally impossible to get any kind of decent help to work in your store. I notice things like this all the time, what do you expect? They laid on the couch all day long and played video games until they were 18 years old, they had no parents when they were young, day-care were their parents, and half of them ate up most of their brain cells doing jello vodka shots and drugs in high school.



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