Perhaps it is as my wife says …. “There is just no hope for you.”
Whoooooooie! Starting to warm up, this is the time of the year, the clerk doesn’t say “Have A Nice Day” but will warn you, “It’s Gonna Be A Hot One.” The long hot dog days of summer are upon us. It is heating up, much like last year, in record numbers and already above average. Looks like it is going to be a scorcher on the plains for sure.
As is our habit, we went out to eat last night. It is still one luxury that we can still afford in this sagging economy. It is however, not all that enjoyable any more. At the beanery the other day I noticed that all of the guys are wearing T-shirts and these long gangsta shorts that reach almost down to their ankles, which is just above the flip flops they are wearing. Now these are older type men, not young stylish dudes on the prowl, looking for a mate and stylin for some good looking thing, hoping to catch their eye and hook up for the night.
These are old, pot-bellied, bald grandpa types … And frankly I just do not get it.
Looking at each one with nothing but disdain I cannot help of thinking about my mother when I was a child, she would look at me and say, “Mister, you get back into that house and put on something that is presentable to wear in public.” Seemingly overnight, we have become a nation of poorly dressed overweight people. It used to be just WalMart where you would see these cretins but now days they seem to be just about everywhere. It is as if we have lost our national pride or our sense of who we are.
It is one thing to be overweight, it is a completely different thing to just flat out be a slob.
Freely I admit to being overweight late at this stage of the game, and I am scratching parts of my anatomy that I have not seen in at least five years. But I still try to find something that is decent, clean, and somewhat normal to wear, when I go out with my bride to eat. My elbows are clean, they are not on the table, and I take off my ball-cap when I dine.
Believe it or not … I even wear shoes, no joke, real lace up type shoes.
Being rode hard and put up wet, having taken my fair share of knocks in life, I still see myself as a good catch. Taking it one step further, I would say “that put up next to these poorly dressed, no manner knuckle draggers’ out on the town for a sumptuous meal with their mate,” that I am a real prize. After all these years, it is still important to me, I owe it to my mate, to put my best foot forward. I want her to be proud of her man, not ashamed.
Maybe it is time to move onto more substantial issues.
Like this ball-cap thing, why is it the kid cannot get it straight on top of his head, it is always pulled down to the bridge of his nose and on sideways. They are everywhere you look at the mall, walking around with their snoop-dawgy-dawg drawers, showing the crack of their …. Oh well, you get the picture, dontcha? This summer might be a good time for me to just give up eating in buffet’s and going to the Mall. Who knows, it might even improve my outlook on life.
Like I said, it is quite apparent, I just don’t get it … Perhaps it is as my wife says …. “There is just no hope for you.”
Cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress Online