Tailgates And Malware Monday

Keep it up chumps.  Thanks to Ed, we now know for sure that running with the tailgate down does not lead to better fuel mileage.  This is what is known in some circles as a “modern myth.”  Having made the statement, Ed backed it up with a quote from Myth Busters.  Here is another one, always attributed to or linked to a popular writer, Emra Bombeck.  The grass always grows greener over the septic tank.”

Not exactly, here is a picture of my septic tank.

You here or are you headed to get it checked.  Today is that magical day when all the little geeks of the world, show everyone how smart they are, by shutting everyone down.  At 11 a.m. the internet and your machine, all of it could shut down for a considerable amount of people who are unfortunate enough to have a Malware problem.  We checked our machines and they are registered “green” so that basically means we are okay (Open the POD doors Hal … nothing can go wrong … Open the POD doors Hal … Nothing can go wrong) and will be here to fight another day.

Hope you make it thru unscathed.

Attention WalMart shoppers.  A Shreveport, La official has introduced a bill to ban the wearing of pajama’s in public.  Parish Commissioner says he recently saw youths wearing pajama bottoms at a local WalMart and that line must be drawn somewhere.  Today it’s pajamas, tomorrow its underwear” he said, “where does it stop?”  Evidently he has not been to the mall and seen Jr. in his Snoop-Dawg underwear showing the entire world his personality.  Yeah, I know, “that was a nasty crack.”  (What can I say?)

Aw shucks, its just normal people just trying to stay cool in this heat.

What cracks me up is this:  “Today the temperature at the airport was 109*” ….. well of course it was you Nimrod, there are 47 acres of concrete and runways at the airport, what did you expect it to be?

Caveat emptor (Buyer Beware) 10 people purchased sealed iPad2’s at a Canadian store and found that the boxes contained only rectangular slabs of clay.  Thieves had made the switch.  Meanwhile in Silicone Valley Kalifornia, Apple has trashed ideas for the kids iPad until they can come up with a suitable name.

The proposed name, ITouch Kids, was found to be unsuitable.

Running Amuck.  The family of a man who died with a faucet running in his bathroom has been hit with a massive water bill.  The man who died of natural causes, laid in his house for some three weeks with the faucet running before his body was found.  The town in which he lived in, is refusing to waive the resulting water bill of $600.  Once again, good government at work for you the citizen.

Keep the change.  Passengers left behind a total of $409,085.56 in change when they passed thru U.S. Customs and airport security checks for the year.  The unclaimed money goes into the coffers of the Transportation Security Administration, that is, until some congressman finds out about it, and then we know what will happen at that time, don’t we?  You can kiss that money goodbye.

If the elections were held today, 46% of voters say they’d back President Obama.  While 45% say they’d vote for Mitt Romney.  The other 9% said …. “Si, we no understand the question senor’.”

One thing I have learned in all of this personally … Hope is easier to embrace than reality.

Every now and then we are all reminded of the power of words, even small innocuous words.  Here for you today are eight words with two meanings.

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n..  Female … Any part under a car’s hood.  Male … The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.  Female … Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.  Male … Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .  Female … The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.  Male … Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys..

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.  Female … A desire to get married and raise a family.  Male … Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.  Female … A good movie, concert, play or book.  Male …. Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.  Female … An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.  Male …. A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.  Female … The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.  Male … Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.  Female  … A device for changing from one TV channel to another.  Male … A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

Once again, you stay a little bit ahead of the curve, compliments of Mr. Language Person.

Thanks for stoppin by our watering hole today, we hope you have a great week and find a way to keep the lights on and stay cool.

OOO

[#1294]

Cartoons courtesy of American Progress. Org

2 thoughts on “Tailgates And Malware Monday

  1. I was zipping thru all gazillion Direct TV channels with MY remote this past Saturday and was fortunate to catch that MythBuster show regarding the tail-gate thing.
    Like they say, you’re supposed to learn somethin’ new everyday, eh?

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    • Y’know, I had never researched it or anything like that Joey. I just naturally thought it was a bit absurd for some dumb Okie to think that he was smarter than a design engineer who builds the truck to begin with. One of the selling points as you know for just about any American car or truck, is of course, “fuel consumption or mileage.” They are going to build into them the best numbers that the oil companies will allow, don’t you agree?

      I was zipping thru all gazillion Direct TV channels with MY remote this past Saturday” … Look at item #8 on words with two meanings on today’s post.

      Once again, just a little ahead of the curve.

      Thank you for your well written comment.

      Don

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