Thunder In The Night

Beware ID theft is real.

“Hey, you used to write superb, but the last couple of posts have been kinda boring¡K I miss your super writings. Past couple of posts are just a bit out of track! come on!”  Yeah, like you really expect me to answer this tripe … Don’t you just love all these Internet trolls who have nothing better to do than run around the net and instigate trouble.  As W.C. Fields used to say ….. “Go away boy, you are bothering me.”

ACDC in the middle of the night.  Iran has another problem, someone has loaded Malware onto the computers in their nuclear program and they are now hearing AC-DC at full volume in the middle of the night.  They have asked for assistance to remove the computer virus and stop the music and the crippling of their systems.  Now I wonder who could have done this dastardly deed?

Like my old man used to say, “Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of people.”

TOO MUCH SEX WILL KILL YOU … NEW SURVEY OUT SAYS SO.  You find the strangest things when you surf the net at night while your wife watches America’s Got Talent (NBC check your local listings … tonight it was some kid getting kicked in the … well you know) anywho, I found this article on the dangers of too much sex … that is if you are a fly.  

While we are on the subject of television, another show that she really likes is Storage Wars.  She cannot seem to get enough of Yuuuuup!  She loves to watch them bid on the abandoned storage lockers and see what treasure is inside.  Here is one that I doubt anyone would want to bid on, it is in Oregon.  This one is kind of creepy.

Here is one that is completely off the register, a guy who has NOT watched any television in 24 years.  That is better than the 12 foot snake found under the trailer in Florida, “Honey have you seen the dog tonight?”  

Photo Credit: Getty

Some folks take a good picture and then again, some folks do not.  I don’t feel as if I take a decent picture anymore, and kind of refrain from it.  Anyway I was looking at this picture and I found myself trying to figure out who it was?  Anyone want to take a shot at it?  Okay, it is Sarah I want to be the next president of the United States Palin.  I think it was taken at Rolling Thunder.  Rolling Thunder is a motorcycle meet held each year in our nation’s capitol and it appears this is where the photo was taken.  Here are two more shots, you can compare.

It appears that she was indeed there.

I am not sure, but the First Lady might have been there too.

FAKE ONE DOLLAR BILLS IN IDAHO.  Now I have heard of people copying $20’s and $50’s even occasionally a five dollar bill.  But going to the trouble of counterfeiting a $1?  Almost unheard of in this day and age, read about this Idaho underachiever here.  Maybe he was a little short on lunch money.

This one is close to my heart, no really, it surely is.  A girl who is on public assistance and receiving food stamps, wins the lottery.  A one million dollar prize, which as most of us know, would last a LONG TIME if managed correctly.  Evidently it wasn’t enough, during this same period she continues to collect almost six thousand dollars in food stamps.  Is this a great country or what?

At some point in time we are going to have to change some things.  First place we should start is in grammar school, where we teach children:  “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish… and you feed him for a lifetime.”

It might be more practical to change it to:  “Give a man a welfare check, a cell phone, cash for his clunker, food stamps, section 8 housing, Medicaid, 100 weeks of unemployment checks, a 40-ounce malt liquor, needles, drugs, contraceptives, and designer Air Jordan shoes… and he will vote Democrat for a lifetime.”

What we have now sure isn’t cutting it.

Thanks for droppin’ by, hope to see you again soon.

OOO

Old And Cranky

“Now listen up America.  If you are sixty-five and older, with no pre-existing medical problems, we have a plan for you.”  Yeah right, and what planet is it exactly that you hail from?  Give me a break.

A local television channel has this Chef guy, he is on every now and then, whipping up gourmet delights for the summer.  So he says, “You can make this with any sort of nuts or mixture of nuts, and it is really good as well, the nuts keep for ages.  But I doubt if they will be around for long.”  Cut to the female reporter:  So while you go for the break.  I am going to have a nibble on the Chef’s nuts.

Stick a pin in the map, another perky little OU Journalism major has been found.  The winner of the week, the absolute best, has to be the commercial that states it can provide “Discount Bankruptcy.”  Now that is a concept.

Driving by this simple little elementary school out in the country I am amazed at how much things have changed in our lives.  When I was young and went to grammar school, we walked, we did not drive.  And we certainly did not show up plastered.

I-40 Eastbound El Reno Oklahoma

Here is another one that doesn’t make sense.  Where was Congress when we entered Viet Nam, Cambodia and Laos?  Where were all these Congressional observers when we went into Grenada, Nicaragua.  These elected misfits help us out with Kuwait, Iraq, and most recently Afghanistan?  Ask a six time deployed Marine what Congress has done for him lately … The answer is going to be not much.  As long as we keep electing Presidents who invoke the Emergency Powers of the President Act, we will be fighting in some war.  Congress doesn’t even enter into it any more.

Maybe I am just getting old and cranky and I just do not get it?  

But as an American I am tired of crap like this.  

What can I say … things happen.  It just isn’t any fun getting old in America.  I note that I forget things more quickly than before, a nice shapely thing in a short skirt isn’t all that likely to turn my head, but a Cheeseburger and order of fries surely will.  I have different parts of my body, waking up at different times every morning and I am not worth a flip until I get that second cup of coffee.

One thing is for sure, it is taking a long time for me to be the me that I want to be.  Retirement is not all that it is cut out to be, if you cannot afford a lawyer one will be appointed for you, if you cannot afford a doctor, go to any airport and you will get a free breast exam, free X-ray, and if you mention Al Qaeda you will get a free colonoscopy.

Here is an interesting read on aging and the life process.  Check it out.

Walking back to the car Thursday and a panhandler comes up to me and says, “Hey buddy, you got a couple of bucks for a sandwich?”  And I see the pack of Marlboro’s in his pocket, funny they never have anything for food, but they can always find the coin for a $5 pack of smokes.  I look at him and say, “Sure.  Let’s see the sandwich.”  Which of course, makes him a little bit indignant and he barks at me, “I aint selling them … I am trying to get one!”  I then said, “Well, if you are not selling them, then go away.”  He then implied that my parents were never married, which is of course silly, he doesn’t even know my parents.  

People seem to be wound a little tight these days, you notice that? 

When Michael Rorrer found a stash of comic book in his great-uncle’s home in Virginia after his death, he thought that they were cool.  But he soon discovered that some of them were among the rarest issues ever published.

The collection which fetched $3.6 million at auction included Action Comics #1 which introduced Superman to the world, Detective comics #27 the first appearance of Batman.  An incredible find.  From a historical perspective it is mind numbing.  My mother cleaned out my closet one fine spring day in 1965 and thus thwarted any chances of me ever being a millionaire.  I guess the only hope left for me is my metal detector, but unfortunately, I can no longer afford the batteries.

We always save the best for last around here, so here it is, straight out of our SPAM folder:  “I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I do not know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers!”

Now if that doesn’t give you a warm fuzzy … nothing will.

Life is a learning experience, we all take something away from it, I hope you share this belief and have benefited from all of this today.  I know I sure have, from now on, I am gonna hang onto every Snapple bottle cap I have.

You never know.

OOO

Ribbon Of Sunlight

Today as I swim thru life, I am going to chart a course that is straight and true, and at the same time, keep a well tuned ear out for another in distress.  If I can somehow help out and bring some hope and sunshine to them in their time of need, then I suppose I have done my job.  If possible I want to be a friend to someone, anyone, that needs someone to fill a void in their life.  Simply because no one in their right mind wants to go thru life swimming all alone.

Thanks for stopping by ……

OOO

Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

"MAKE AN OFFER"Can you say “Lawn Mowing sucks” on the Internet?I guess you can, it is after all “my blog.”

A couple of days ago, I was just lying there in bed, minding my own business, staring up at the ceiling.I do that a lot in the morning, watch the numbers roll on the clock, listen to the ceiling fan rhythms, early in the morning.

And I was thinking about the possibility of painting my front lawn green, the money, time and energy I could save, by having a totally artificial painted green lawn.Using the best weather-beater Latex that Sear’s has to offer, I would either roll it on or paint it on.

A lawn that I did not have to water or pamper, or spend time with.Something like the relationship we have with our children.

Now it is time to go on record about something.Los Angeles…

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Taking a day off today, need to get away from it.  Here is a repost of one of my favorite places in the entire world.

OOO

Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

There is a special place, nestled high in the Eastern Sierra’s of California that I just love.  It is Convict Lake, north of Bishop and in the Lone Pine area.  It is quiet and serene, most of the time, but because of its rather close proximity to Los Angeles it can get rather crowded in the summer months.

It is a pristine place, off the beaten path, that time seems to have forgotten.  A lot of the Sierra’s are like that, but it is getting where you really have to hunt for these places if you want to enjoy them.  Civilization is encroaching the mountains too.  If you find yourself there at a good time, during the middle of the week, you can take a break, actually hear the flutter of a birds wings when they fly by and lose yourself briefly …. In the bosom of nature.

In the…

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Bon Apetite

Perhaps it is as my wife says …. “There is just no hope for you.”

 

Whoooooooie!  Starting to warm up, this is the time of the year, the clerk doesn’t say “Have A Nice Day” but will warn you, “It’s Gonna Be A Hot One.”  The long hot dog days of summer are upon us.  It is heating up, much like last year, in record numbers and already above average.  Looks like it is going to be a scorcher on the plains for sure.

As is our habit, we went out to eat last night.  It is still one luxury that we can still afford in this sagging economy.  It is however, not all that enjoyable any more.  At the beanery the other day I noticed that all of the guys are wearing T-shirts and these long gangsta shorts that reach almost down to their ankles, which is just above the flip flops they are wearing.  Now these are older type men, not young stylish dudes on the prowl, looking for a mate and stylin for some good looking thing, hoping to catch their eye and hook up for the night.

These are old, pot-bellied, bald grandpa types … And frankly I just do not get it.

Looking at each one with nothing but disdain I cannot help of thinking about my mother when I was a child, she would look at me and say, “Mister, you get back into that house and put on something that is presentable to wear in public.”  Seemingly overnight, we have become a nation of poorly dressed overweight people.  It used to be just WalMart where you would see these cretins but now days they seem to be just about everywhere.  It is as if we have lost our national pride or our sense of who we are.

It is one thing to be overweight, it is a completely different thing to just flat out be a slob.

Freely I admit to being overweight late at this stage of the game, and I am scratching parts of my anatomy that I have not seen in at least five years.  But I still try to find something that is decent, clean, and somewhat normal to wear, when I go out with my bride to eat.  My elbows are clean, they are not on the table, and I take off my ball-cap when I dine.

Believe it or not … I even wear shoes, no joke, real lace up type shoes.

Being rode hard and put up wet, having taken my fair share of knocks in life, I still see myself as a good catch.  Taking it one step further, I would say “that put up next to these poorly dressed, no manner knuckle draggers’ out on the town for a sumptuous meal with their mate,” that I am a real prize.  After all these years, it is still important to me, I owe it to my mate, to put my best foot forward.  I want her to be proud of her man, not ashamed.

Maybe it is time to move onto more substantial issues.

Like this ball-cap thing, why is it the kid cannot get it straight on top of his head, it is always pulled down to the bridge of his nose and on sideways.  They are everywhere you look at the mall, walking around with their snoop-dawgy-dawg drawers, showing the crack of their …. Oh well, you get the picture, dontcha?  This summer might be a good time for me to just give up eating in buffet’s and going to the Mall.  Who knows, it might even improve my outlook on life.

Like I said, it is quite apparent, I just don’t get it  … Perhaps it is as my wife says …. “There is just no hope for you.”

OOO

Cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress Online

Take It To The Bank

Not long ago, my bank deposited into my account, $546.00 cash money.  

This was not my money, it was not my lucky day.  At the very beginning I noted this mistake, but I sat back and did nothing about it.  I just thought of “all those wonderful moments that I shared inside their lobby, and the friendly folks who provided them” and decided to let the _____ find it for themselves.

It took them roughly ten working days to find the error and they have since written me five times explaining why they retrieved the errant deposit to my account. For all the readers who have been frustrated with Bank of America recently, here’s something that will make you laugh: The banking giant just accidentally gave a Detroit man $1.5 million. It doesn’t look like the bank will be recovering the funds anytime soon, either.  Not like myself (who just let it sit there) he took out just about all of it and then went to the local casino.  You can read more here.

One more banking comment.

Now this one would really hack you off, have you seen the Ally Bank Commercial?

So here I am, lying in my favorite position, in my favorite spot in the entire universe, under my Made In China fan, watching my Made In China television, and my Made in China wife (Taiwan R.O.C.) says to me …. “Are you going to lay there all summer and do nothing?” to which I replied, “Leave me alone, I am practicing for the elections in November.”

Holy Cow! Humble Texas, go get ’em Laura.

Can you live without it?

Have you ever considered just shutting down the computer and walking away from it for awhile, say a year?  I have often thought about it, but to this day, cannot seem to pull myself away from it for more than a couple of days.  Now here is a guy who is vowing to stay off the Internet for an entire year. He hasn’t clicked a link, sent an email, checked Twitter, sent a text message, Googled, or used a web browser since May 1, 2012. At 12:01 a.m. on that day he unplugged the cord from his desktop. And he doesn’t plan to plug it back in or go back online until May 1, 2013.

Good luck on that.

If I was to unplug and walk away like that, May 1st, 2013 would be the day they would release me from the State Mental Hospital with a brand new prescription.

See you at the water cooler.

OOO