It Is Right Here In My Who-Hah

(Because of the adult subject matter, there will be no photo’s accompanying this post)

Now listen buster, take your hand out of there and leave my girlfriend alone!

TULSA, Oklahoma – A woman armed with two weapons including a flare gun robbed the Med-X Drug Store at 1714 Utica Square early Saturday.  Tulsa Police say the woman went into the pharmacy at about 5:30 a.m. She had a black semi-automatic handgun and a flare gun, she then demanded both pills and money from the register.

On her way out the door, she fired the flare gun into a chair. No one was injured, and the flare gun did not start a fire, police say.  The woman got into an older black SUV with a driver waiting behind the wheel and left the scene.

I suppose laughing her a** off hysterically.

Here is a question for all you lurkers and Internet trolls out there.  What is the pre-occupation with Rachel Ray and her breasts, half the searches on my site are for this.  That … and bikini’s …. It is truly is a sick world we live in these days.  For the record I do not ever remember any items concerning Rachel or her tah-tahs.

While we are on the subject of the female anatomy.

This could be a serious drug problem, I dunno.  When questioned at the police station the woman replied, “Yes officer, I have some Oxycontin in my “who-hah” … Would you like to remove them or shall I fish them out for myself?”   Oh I am sorry, are you allowed to use the word “Who-hah” when describing female genitalia on the Internet?

I know the word “vagina” and “vasectomy” are now banned in Michigan, where two Democratic women in the Michigan House of Representatives, who used the words “vagina” and “vasectomy” while debating an abortion bill, had their privilege to speak withdrawn for a day on Thursday.  I have never been to Michigan, but from what I read, it appears to be pretty lame.

Maybe we should just use the word girlfriend?

“Now listen buster, take your hand out of there and leave my girlfriend alone!”

That might work.

Charlie Sheen (not his daddy Martin) is scheduled to play the president of the United States in an upcoming event.  I guess the basic question would be, “Haven’t we already had enough of a coked up son following his father in politics?”

Thanks a lot department.  Hope this Email catches you in time! 

Please send this warning to everyone on your Email list.  If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!!  They only want to see you naked.

I wish I’d gotten this yesterday … I feel so stupid.

Entertainment Today had a little chit-chat with comedian/actor/Robin Williams at a ceremony and had a few grumblings about the apocalypse and its associated signs, some of which are apparently associated with Britney Spears.  Then he said this about Spears’ fiancé/manager Jason Trawick being added to the singer’s conservatorship: “That’s kind of a double bill. It’s like having your dealer as your therapist.” (Nice shot of J-Lo on the same page)

When I worked on the railroad and I would have anger issues with my boss, they would send me to the therapist.  He would then say to me, “What is it that you do for a living?’ and I would reply, “I work on the railroad.”  He would then say, “Okay, hang off the side of the couch and tell me what is bugging you.”  More on Britney here, I don’t know about her underwear, her new video is a real yawner.

What do you do If you find yourself stranded in the desert, running out of water and food?  Well silly, you build a motorcycle out of your non-running car and ride it to Wendy’s.

Here is another one, one of those thinking outside the box moments.

The other day I intently sat here completely mesmerized and watched a bridge moved on an episode of “We Are Going To Move This Incredibly, Huge, Holy Crap, look at the size of that Godzilla Sized Steel Stuff” on the Discovery Channel.

And it occurred to me:  “If we are capable of moving a 5 million pound bridge, on several barges with tugboats, upstream 16 miles, to two pre-cast already constructed concrete pillars and then placing that bridge on the site and everything fits.  Then why can’t we build a car that gets more than 50 mpg?”

This was indeed done back east recently, it did happen.

Lookie there, two cups of coffee and it is only 8:00 a.m..  I haven’t done a dog-gone thing today … That means the wife is dead wrong … I am getting better at this.