Oklahoma Blow Dried

“We all experience moments absolutely free from worry.  These brief respites are called panic.”

No Secret Service sex scandal this week, the wind continues to blow about 40 mph daily.  When the wind blows across the prarie, as in the song, “comes sweeping across the plain.”

I find myself disturbed by this constant attack on my senses.

When the wind blows each and every day here, I have a tendency to complain, don’t know why, but when the wind blows, I get contrary.  Annually, Oklahoma will receive more wind than Chicago, which is known as the “Windy City” but they don’t have anything on us, no sir.

To put it bluntly, I am at the point where I just want to tie a couple of car batteries around my waist and go swimming!

Okay, I know that is kind of morbid.

Let us talk about something else.  You are up in a plane, and the engine stops, you rush to the door and bail out.  You free fall a great distance, and then pull the rip chord, the chute doesn’t open, and splat!  You land three feet from an unused trampoline in someone’s back yard … Does this qualify you as a loser?

When Trish Vickers lost her sight, she poured her energies into writing a novel, and she did it in longhand.  But at the end of a 26 page writing session she was devastated to find out that the pen that that she had been using had run out of ink.

Consequently, all of her pages were totally blank.

In desperation, she turned to the local police department to help her with her dilemma.  The fingerprinting department took over and were able to use special lighting techniques to recover the writing on the pages.  The expert who did this, did it during her lunch hours at work.  Kind of nice, seeing people helping people for a change.

Which got me to thinking about people helping people … For instance:  If your doctor helps you with assisted suicide and then you live, can you sue him for malpractice?  Organizers of the 2012 London Olympics have asked Keith Moon, original drummer of The Who to perform at the Games.

There apparently is just one snag, he died in 1978.

A New Jersey couple are suing their realtor because they claim the house they are living in which they bought from him, is haunted.  Now that is a new one on me.  They are claiming to hear voices, doors slamming, and something moving around in the basement.  Sounds like a normal American family with kids to me.

Twenty-seven percent of people who keep large amounts of cash in their home, are prone to store it in the freezer.  Only eleven percent use the old I put it under the mattress dodge.  Here, on our Goat Farm, some 4.5 miles south of the Interstate, we just take an old Folgers coffee can and bury it in the backyard, seven steps north of the old Hickory tree, next to the fence on the north-side of the property.

Hah.  See if you can find that!

Weston Florida has outlawed dance halls, nightclubs, and skating rinks.  Even tho the town has none.  The mayor said a rise in nightlife-related crime throughout South Florida has convinced officials there to adopt the pre-emptive ban.  Nothing like being prepared.

Skating rinks?  C’mon.

They all don’t live in Alabama, no sir.  Mohammed Ashan, a Taliban commander, who saw his face on a “wanted” poster and asked Afghan sercurity forces for the $100 finders fee.  “Yes, that is me!” he said.  “Can I get my reward now?”  He was promptly arrested and last word had it, he didn’t receive the finders fee.

Oh well, I guess that is the way the wind blows, better luck next time Mohammed.


2 thoughts on “Oklahoma Blow Dried

  1. All of these snippets of information that you dig up never seem to amaze me. Who ARE these people? I’m so glad I don’t get out much!


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