Weather Guessers Game

We had thunder-garbage and twisters yesterday, and we are scheduled for more today.  This time of the year, all of the local weatherman kind of get that glassy-eye look, sort of like a deer in the headlights, and they often go off the deep-end of the pool.  Yesterday was such the case, everything from baseball size hail, to teacup size was described.

The apocalyptic end of the world for me and the Misses was supposed to have arrived at 10:18 P.M. and it did not actually show up until well after three in the morning.  Several areas of our state did have tornadoes touch down and there was some damage, last I heard it did not cause any deaths, and that is always good news.  It did however drop 2.5 inches of rain on us, and the pond filled up overnight, went from 16” to  43” in the blink of an eye.  We went from something like this:

To the exact opposite in a matter of a few hours.”

This most likely would scare the be-Jesus out of most of you, but we here in the Heartland, we are sadly, kind of used to it.  We have been richly rewarded with good competent weather researchers here and out of all of them, the clear cut favorite seems to be Gary England.  You can see him in several clips in the movie Twister that came out a few years back.

Being as it is a slow day on the old goat farm and in order to cope with the loss of “our regular programming” for hours on end, we have developed a game of sorts.

The Weather Guesser Game. 

Here are the rules.

1. Everyone selects a storm chaser other than Val Castor. Every time Gary talks to your storm chaser, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your storm chaser. Take four drinks if your storm chaser says “tornado on the ground.”
2. Everyone selects a county other than Pottawatomie County. Every time Gary mentions your county, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your county. Take four drinks if a tornado touches down in your county.

One drink
1. Take one drink every time Gary says the following:
“Hook echo” | “Updraft” | “Metro” | “Doppler radar” | “Wall cloud” | “Ranger 9” | “Underground” | “Mobile home”
2. When Gary gives a list of counties, take one drink for every county in the list.
3. Take one drink every time Gary interrupts a program. Take one drink if Gary says “You’re not missing any of [program name].” Take one drink when Gary says “We’ll keep you advised.”

Two drinks
1. Take two drinks every time Gary says the following:
“Baseball-sized hail” | “Waterloo Road” | “Pottawatomie County” | “Deer Creek High School”
2. Take two drinks every time Gary mentions the following towns:
Burns Flat
Dill City
Wayne (or Payne)
(Extra bonus points if you can correctly pronounce most of these town names without the help of your second cousin)
3. Take two drinks every time Gary talks to Val Castor.

Three drinks
1. Take three drinks if we see footage from Val Castor.
2. Take three drinks if we see footage from Pottawatomie County.
3. Take three drinks if Gary mentions the following:
“Immediate tornado precautions”
“National Weather Service”
“Portable Radio”
“Take shelter”
“Tornado warning in effect until …”

Four drinks
1. Take four drinks if Ranger 9 must land to refuel.
2. Take four drinks if Gary issues his own tornado warning, not recognized by the NWS or says the following:
“Will someone please answer that phone?” | “Do you see power flashes?”
3. Take four drinks if a shirt-less tornado victim is interviewed.

Finish your drink
1. Finish your drink if someone uses the word tornado as a verb or if Gary mentions the nearest cross streets to you.
If Gary says “We’ve lost Val,” pour a little out for your homies and finish your drink.

If and when a tornado does hit in your immediate vicinity you are most likely going to be so dog-gone drunk you won’t notice it anyway.  Wonder if Parker Bros. would be interested in something like this?


Kudo’s to James our local correspondent in Wayne, Oklahoma for the game.

8 thoughts on “Weather Guessers Game

  1. We’re under the proverbial gun here in south central Nebraska today. I’m always glad to have a finished basement at times like this. I basically spend most of my time there regardless when I’m at home. One tip they are telling us is to make sure our cell phones are charged. I think so we can run outside and take pictures!! Generally whenever the sirens go off it’s a good time to meet the neighbors as we all go outside to gawk around! Hopefully all will be safe. Keep your head down Don!!


    • This time of the year on the Great Plains is an exciting and vibrate time. Each year we have to contend with the weather, part of the price of living in this part of the country. We didn’t get hit today, but they are saying “ongoing weather” in the morning and currently the panhandle is getting raked over, but my area is safe for the time being.

      Most folks who have a working picture of a tornado, do not wish to ever see another one again. They are fascinating and of course, dangerous as hell, best viewed at a great distance.

      As for cellphones? I have photo’s locked down in my phone over two years now, and do not know how to view them or get them out. I just use it to communicate and that is the bottom line, no bells, no whistles, texting, none of that jazz, just as a phone.

      Old school.

      What is the scariest thing you ever heard while making love during tornado season?

      Tornado On The Ground
      Fast Moving
      Get Below Ground
      Get Out of the way!
      A man’s voice clearly saying …. “Honey I Am Home.”

      Yeah I know … sick. But that is me.

      Kansas had some beaut’s today, I trust you are well and safe?



  2. I lve in Norman so yesterday was quite exciting for me in the afternoon, but rather dull the rest of the night. They said we would get hit by more storms after that first one with the tornado, but all others missed us. Guess we got our fill on the first round. My husband did see the tornado (though I didn’t sinceI stayed inside for it). He abandoned my car and ran home. That was his first experience since he is not an Oklahoman native so I tried not to judge too harshly. My vehicle was intact when he returned for it later.

    They are predicting more dire storms today. Claimed they would be here by 7pm (they are nowhere close). I’ll be surprised if they ever make it to the OKC area. Those poor weathermen have the toughest time figuring out where those darn storms will go. I’ll give them one thing, there has certainly been tornadoes up north. They predicted that part of the storm activity right.

    Glad I’m not participating in that drinking game. Would have been quit drunk early on in the day yesterday!


  3. Don, we here in earthquake country, are very glad to hear that you and your family are safe. I can’t imagine living in an area where they have a ‘season’ for such things! We may not have warnings, but we certainly don’t experience the magnitude of wicked weather that you see across the plains. May God continue to hold you in the palm of His hand and keep you safe from harm….Love you, Elaine and Stu


    • Wow, a reply from my sister, I am impressed. Good to hear from you and I hope all is well on the Shakey Side of the country (Bay Area). Yes, this is an interesting time of the year on the plains, no two ways about it.



  4. I am not a Gary England fan. I like Mike Morgan. To each his own I guess!


    • Hey girl, how are those tan lines? You get any of the big hail the other day? Mike is a good dude, we saw him at the fairgrounds, had his remote in his hand, and was clicking it, trying to locate his automobile. No joke. True story. He is a big dude, really tall. Gary is perceived to be the clear cut favorite and the “media star” but Mike is okay in my book too.



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