Amicable Agreement

A DIVORCE AGREEMENT

This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it’s by a young person, a student.

Whatever he runs for, I’ll vote for him

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

2. We don’t like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them. (while you are at it, can you please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you)

7. We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.

10. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

13. We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

15. We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..

17. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.

18. We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”

19. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya,” or “We Are the World”.

20. We’ll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American


OOO

Thanks to Larry in Albq NM

2 thoughts on “Amicable Agreement

  1. It sounds to me like this “law student” has had more than his share of right wing propaganda. While he states his likes and dislikes throughout his missive, it is a bit of a stretch to me that he is someone to be heeded. What kind of American advocates breaking up the USA? This is just more right wing bilge pumped out daily to distract the masses. I am sincerely, a liberal and an American.

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    • We always strive to print the news that is fit, or whatever causes fits in print. Which is it? A friend of mine in New Mexico sent that to me and I found it interesting. (More so, what comments it might generate was also considered) By the way, I lean towards your opinion and not his, if the truth be known.

      You know James, it wasn’t all that long ago, some of this was actually applied to our country, and it did not work. It was called the Civil War, and it dealt with a major portion of the country succeeding (sp) from the rest of the country, and we all know what tragic results became of that, don’t we?

      Having not a clue as to whether I am a liberal or a whatever, I will say this … I like to stir the pot from time to time, guess that makes me a pot stirrer or something like that? Could not find anything gay, Israeli, Afghanistanic (sp) or Iranian middle eastern garbage to report on … So I opted for this.

      Unfortunately, tomorrow most likely is not looking all that much better. Hahahahahahha (Okie LOL)

      Thanks for responding,

      Don

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