Five Bucks A Day

The wife walked into the kitchen and announced, “The mail is here … You are the big winner!”  She picks up the mail from the mail box on the road each day on her way home from work.  On some days, when the weather is agreeable, I will make the walk out there to get it, but most of the time, I leave it to her to bring it in.

The usual assortment of crap was there, I had won several hundred thousand dollars even tho’ I had never entered anything.  (While we are at it?  Does anyone miss Ed McMahon?)  The pile is on the kitchen table in no particular order.  A small assortment of free calendars and catalog’s for Made In China at greatly reduced prices if I act with great speed and haste, I could have it all … Right now!

Baby!  Have you seen the checkbook?

And then I spot it.  Hidden in the stack.  The Tax Bill.  The Tax Man Cometh yesterday, like a snake in the grass he reared up and showed me his ugly head, and I was not all that happy to see him (specifically his missive or bill).  I don’t know, but I kind of think most of us are in the same boat when it comes down to it, no one in their right mind, likes to pay taxes or get a letter from any government entity.

One thing in my life is a constant.  I have never adjusted to a lifestyle, that includes an envelope with a window on it, and there it lies on the table, in big, bold letters, “my legal name or Credit Card Name” as I often refer to it.

The only people who use all three of your names in one sentence, are your mother when you are in trouble, (Mister you just wait until YOUR father gets home!) and the credit card folks or someone who wants money from you.  Envelopes with a window on them are never a good deal.

It is a fact of life.

Opening it up I see the taxes on my home and property for the year.  $1,844.00 … This is what I owe for the privilege of living on my property in the State Of Oklahoma (namely Canadian County).  If you want to look at it from another perspective, it costs me five dollars and a nickel per day ($5.05) to live here on my little place in the sun.  My sanctuary on this big old green globe hurtling thru the dzark vastness of the universe … racing thru space and making one full orbit around the sun every 365 days.

There it is … YOU owe ME $1844.00 or $5.05 per day.  Pay Up!  If you don’t have it now, don’t worry pal, you can send in “half of it” and we will not come get your stuff or your first born male child.

Which to me, even tho the sum is paltry by most comparisons this bill rankles me.  I mean hell, I own it, this is my little spot on the planet, why should I have to pay them (you) to live here?

In a small way it is a mystery, of which, I have never really figured out.  When then you stop and consider what is in play here, you don’t really own anything in this life.  You are simply a caretaker of it all, taking care of it, so it will be in good shape when you pass it on to the next fellow coming down the line.   And while you are doing this … The government instead of paying YOU for doing a GOOD JOB charges YOU a fee to do it.

$5.05 per day charged to your account for payment to them for doing a lousy job on just about everything.  I really miss what my grandchildren refer to as the “Olden Days.”  When I walked around mostly in a gentle fog and life was good to me.  All is not lost, there is a rainbow here folks, as my dear old Grandmother used to say to me, “Look for the rainbow Donnie, every cloud has a silver lining.”  And bless her heart, nine times out of ten, she was right as rain.

So here it is for all of you that have stuck around this long.

Next year I turn sixty-five and I will get a “free driver’s lic.” for the rest of my life!  Most likely will not be able to afford gas or diesel, but it is something.  Doing some quick math, I figure that will save me about fifteen dollars cash, so that means the first two and one-half days of 2013 are already paid for.

Is this a great country or what?*


* 800 words and when I hit the spelling checker it beeped (no errors) looks like I am getting better at writing my “Internet Spam.”

2 thoughts on “Five Bucks A Day

  1. Wonderful post. I have the same aversion to envelopes with windows. My taxes aren’t that much tho, and I grumble about them. Sheesh.


    There are days that the tree house in Belize and eating banana’s really appeals to me. But then there is reality.



  2. Don’t get me wrong. I am not in favor of taxes but of all the taxes we pay, the local taxes are the ones we can influence the most. The people we elect to spend our money are neighbors, and we can actually talk to them as opposed to the money we send to Washington where we peons can’t speak to anyone.

    Our property tax uses vary with the state and counties we live in, but they typically build our local roads, fund schools, pay for police and fire protection, and pay for the relatively modest local graft and waste.


    They could be used for so much more good, than the current use they are put to now, I don’t like ’em and I do my level best to avoid anything that will increase them. Next year I will be old enough to freeze my personal property levels and that will help some, not much, but I will take anything I can get.



  3. My mother-in-law went in to “freeze” her property taxes too, but discovered that her income was just over the parameters set for this particular tax break. The poor thing has little money herself, but she recently remarried and evidently the dual income was enough to put her over the limit. Unless it varies from county to county, you might check to be sure.
    This year I reach the age requirement and plan to do just that. It sucks. Back east, people are actually selling their homes because they can no longer pay the taxes on them.

    Oh yeah, almost forgot. “Cookies, Copulation and Flying Deer… and how was YOUR day?” and I thought my titles were a bit quirky? Squirrel porn and cookies in the morning, what a mix.

    One more …. I would not have picked it up either?





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