Monday Morning Mega-Meltdown

Six Miles Outside Of Clovis NM

WordPress Junk Files January:  Fresh Pressed 01-04 …. “Snowboarding post, high in the Rocky Mountains where the snowboarder finds himself gasping for air at 10,000 feet above sea level, a place generally reserved for mule deer, mountain goats, and the skeletal remains of the pioneering Donner party.  The ill fated Donner party met their demise in the Sierra Nevada Mountains outside Truckee California not in the Rockies.  So much for “checking for accuracy and source material” before being Fresh Pressed huh?

If I see that J.C. Penny Commercial one more time with the women screaming at the top of their lungs, I am going to go bonkers.  That has to be the worst commercial currently running on television these days.  How they equate screaming with a desire to shop, I will never know.  My girlfriend on Trop 50 has a new one out, and it is a kick in the you-know-what.  You Had Work Done? 

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.  ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.  Chinese food is loaded with MSG.  High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.  However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it.  Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand,

and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”

No good huh.  Well, whadya want for free?

Do you know what a woman’s’ thong and a barbwire fence have in common?

They both restrict access … but they don’t spoil the view.  One thing we can all agree on, “they are not for everyone.

Now here is something to boast about.  I have not watched one episode of the new season of American Idol … Not one minute of it.  I deserve an award.  It is almost as if I am on the twelve step program concerning reality television.  Come to think of it, I never won an award, trophy or prize in my life.

One time when I was about 10 or 11 years old, I ran a race and my father came to watch me.  I didn’t do so well, came in about 8 or 9th as I remember.  On the way home, my father took his watch off, and handed it to me.  Not a new watch, and old watch, but to a ten year old kid, this is a big thing.

Taking it, I put it on my wrist and said to my father, “I didn’t win the race.  Why are you giving me this?” and he said, “Well, I am not giving it to you for winning, I am giving it to you for trying.”

That is better than any old trophy.

Try this one.  Ready?  Two candy bars for two dollars, or one at the regular price.  Better yet, ready?  Two KING-SIZED candy bars for three dollars or one at the regular price.  My old man used to squeal like a stuck pig when I asked him for two bits (a quarter) for a coke AND a candy bar.

I don’t understand.  Girls with tattoos’, what is up with that?  Guys with pierced lips and eyebrows.  I just cannot figure it out to beat the band.

Some more things I do not understand:

Popcorn Chicken … What in the world is that?
Buffalo Wings … Uh huh, sure.
New Sexy Hair (only $13) and I just have to chuckle, no really, I just have to.
New Skin?  Yeah, I know.  Think about it.
Let’s eat out:  “Chase every skillet bite with one of five lip-smacking, fruity fusion favorites.”  Cool, tangy and loaded with “Ah.”
Uh huh, sure.
Maybe it is just me … but I just don’t get it.

Now this, this is really something else.  Try it, it will blow you away.  A super cool optical illusion 

A brand new week on tap, make it or waste it, as always, your choice.

One way or the other … It is all up to you.


6 thoughts on “Monday Morning Mega-Meltdown

  1. Nice blog this morning. If you get an award for not watching American Idol then I do to. I’ve haven’t watched it the last couple of seasons. My favorite is Dancing with the Stars and I can’t wait for it to come back on. I loved to dance and that would have been fun to do before author set up housekeeping in my joints. Have a great day.


    Never have watched one episode of Survivor and Dancin With The Stars is DVR fodder for the wife, she has her world and I have mine. The only thing I find amusing about it all is Bruno, I get a kick out of him.



  2. Thanks for the wonderful Monday morning wake up! Love the answer “wedding cake.” That had me laughing out loud for several minutes (I’m twice divorced and staying that way.) And thanks for the linkback.


    They say the truth shall set you free. Whadya think? You are welcome for the link, I usually do it when I find something out of the ordinary or extraordinary and such is the case with your site. It is a good read. Most of last year everyone I linked didn’t even bother to acknowledge the favor, by your doing it, it showed me you are a class act, but then again, I knew that beforehand.



  3. I can give insight into the Buffalo wings. They were first served at a restaurant in Buffalo, N. Y.
    finally! I have wondered for literally years where that ##@#!!#@ started. Now I know. This is good, it will free up time for other things. I can now concentrate my energy on the old “it tastes just like chicken rumor” and see if I can locate the source of that.




  4. I do not get a lot of it either, and as you know, I spend little time watching the garbage on TV. I have little use for media that is MIS-used to create mindless noise instead of goodness.
    I know it is small, but jeeze-Louise, I am not a moron. Won’t see ME in JC Penny’s any time soon.



  5. I’m sorry DS, but I gotta put that screamin’ woman second in line with the Progressive Insurance gal ! I mean c’mon man ! Budweiser changes THEIR commercials from time to time, why not Progressive and that wretchid reptile from Gieco???
    The absolute best inventions of the 20th century are the VCR and the DVR. You can cut the commercials down to less than 10 seconds on most days. What about the MayTag guy and the washers that never break down (certainly did not apply to mine) he was with us forever.

    This one here, I can surely live without.

    Cottonelle and “back it up” …. or in other words, “My husband is a complete moron!” is really good for the spirit I have to admit. I am going to make one.

    If you get up from the toilet seat and it is sticky?

    Two things apply.

    #1 You are most likely married.
    #2 Your husband is a diabetic.

    I HAVE A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT AND I NEED CASH NOW! Oh yeah, give it to me baby.

    So much for cutting thru the clutter to get the message out eh?

    Thanks for droppin’ by ……



  6. My husband and I are with you on the JC Penny commercial. How are you with the Arby’s “Two Four Five . . . Two Four Five!” commercial? My husband swears that kid is the son of the owner of Arbys. I’m starting to agree. It’s not good mood food anymore. Love your blog as always!
    The Arby’s thing escapes me, I am not sure that I have seen it or not? They had a barbeque sand. that I thought was terrific and then cancelled it and I have not been back.

    Glad you like the site, come back and comment any time.



  7. Loved this post.
    The ad that I probably hate the MOST is the one with two sharks discussing which person they had just devoured tasted the best……the one that had just eaten peanut butter cups or something. That is SICK. They are mocking that people can be killed by sharks! They are trying to make us laugh at that horrid thought, rare though it is.


    I have to agree, it is kind of sick, but then again, we live in sick times. I always got a kick out of Johnny Carson, and the gag about “can I talk to you about?” Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeyuck.

    Thanks for chiming in on this pressing social hot button topic (NOT!)

    Bet it is warm today in Bermuda huh?



Comments are closed.