Hot Or Mild Sauce

Hey, I am back!

Yesterday was the Internet Blackout and the day before, was the doctor.  Good news and bad news on the doctor thing.  First he says that over the holidays’ I gained 10 lbs. around my middle section and I have to shed that, as my BMI (Body Mass Index) is something akin to a Caterpillar Bulldozer. (Which really isn’t any big surprise to me, I am scratching parts of my body I have not seen in five years anyway)  Now for the good news …. He said I was my perfect weight if I was seven feet tall.

Yesterday we were in town and I decided in order to “celebrate the good news of my positive visit with my health care professional” I would have some ribs.  I am fond of ribs, like them quite a lot I do.  On some days, I can eat my way clear thru a #3 washtub full of ribs, with a little fried Okra and maybe some fries.

We sat down and the cute little perky waitress came over to take our order.  The wife gave the waitress her order and then she looked at me and I told her what it was I wanted and then she asked, “What to drink?” and I said, “Oh, just bring me a Budweiser.”

This is the point where the story starts to unravel a bit.  Kind of like an airplane rushing down the runway at full speed, it finally reaches a point where it will either lift off or go on down a ways and crash.

Cute little perky waitress then says to me (I am not making this up) “Do you have any I.D.?” (might be worth mentioning here.  I don’t like people who sleep with small farm animals, park in the handicapped when they are not handicapped, talk in the cinema, and I absolutely cannot stand cute little perky waitresses on Tuesday nights that ask seniors for I.D., just something about it, that rankles my spirit)

I sigh, my sigh of complete resignation and repeat the order.

So I say to her, “I don’t have any I.D.  Bring me the beer.”

She then counters with, “If you cannot show me any I.D. sir (at least she got that part of it right) I cannot serve you the beer.”  Now I am not only hungry, thirsty but I am also IRRITATED.  Or as my grand-daughter is fond of saying, “Don’t get ugly grandpa.”  I am in Yukon, Oklahoma the Home of Garth Brooks, and I am thinking to myself, “Maybe she is some poor disadvantaged third-world country child, adopted by a world famous Nashville Music Star and is just socially maladjusted or something like that?”

The girl is not backing down nor is she serving me.

I inquire of her, “How old are you girl?”  She smiles, and replies, “19 years old.”  So then I look her in the eye and say, “Listen, I am 64 years old, I have socks at home in my sock drawer that are older than you.  Bring me the beer.”  She says … “No.”

Fine, I ask her to bring me the manager.

Long story short, we have this spirited talk, the manager and I, about “people who are or appear to be clearly older than sixty years old having to produce a stinking I.D. for a lousy 3.2 beer in the State Of Oklahoma.”  He apologizes to me and then has the girl produce the bottle of beer …. end of story.

Every day it seems I am “forced to add to the list, another name of someone who can kiss the part of me that goes over the fence last.”  It wasn’t like ONE BEER was going to make me a hazard in the city, incapable of walking down a sidewalk filled with cracks, or low hanging tree branches, abnormal curbs or other associated dangers.

I was just thirsty for a beer.

Now here is my question.  What are we cranking out these days, functional illiterates who have no conception of common sense in society or the workplace?  Clearly it is an insult to a senior to ask them for I.D. unless it is to prove a senior discount on a meal or something like that.

So that are it in a nut-shell Boys & Girls, another place that we can not go because I did not exercise my constitutional right to remain silent.  As it is my habit, I gave them the bird’s eye view … straight from the horse’s mouth.

Next time we will talk about the Bozo at Radio Shack that truly believes I have to give him a valid working telephone number to buy a pack of batteries.

I mean … Give me a break.

OOO

7 thoughts on “Hot Or Mild Sauce

  1. I think you have made your point very well, but cut the girl some slack. Her manager could have told her card everyone or you lose your job. This could have been a learning experience for the manager.
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    There has to be some reason to all of this, you make a good point, it could have been the manager, I don’t know. But she isn’t the only one, I had some dumbo ask me for ID at Circle K to purchase a lottery ticket.

    One thing is for sure. You can do a lot of things in this world, but you cannot fix stupid.

    Thanks for your comment.

    DS

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  2. Along with this topic is more insanity. I often want a beer, but not alcoholic so my wife will buy a six pack of Beck’s or Kaliber or one of the other NA beers. The supermarket cashier will ask her for her ID. When I am with her I act poorly because I show the cashier the label that says NON-ALCOHOLIC. Apparently waitresses in Yukon OK and cashiers in Knoxville TN go to Stupid School.

    There is a higher percentage of alcohol in a 12 oz. can of fruit juice and the human body than in a 12 oz. bottle of NA beer. But you cannot buy NA beer in Knoxville without proof of age, or before noon on Sundays.
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    Wow, that is incredible.

    Non-Alcoholic beer but you have to show I.D. in order to get it? It is if the inmates are running the asylum anymore. Huffers use up the spray paint, so naturally ANYONE who buys it is suspect? Same thing with model glue, you have to ask for a lot of items these days, because of the abuse factor.

    My favorite is when they ask me to put it back when I refuse to I.D. myself.

    When they asked me for ID for a lottery ticket, I politely told them no, and then she said “no sale” so I said fine and walked. Then she said, “what about all this stuff on the counter?” and I smiled and said, “ID it and then put it back.”

    DS

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  3. LMBO – when a bartender asks for my ID, as they often do even for us middle age ladies in an attempt to boost their tips – my husband insists on showing them his too. It’s pretty funny but then of course I’m convinced they meant to spit in his drink but accidentally did mine and I don’t want to drink it. Eventually I convince myself that the alcohol killed all the germs anyway. Glad you got your beer.
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    We put all these rules on everyone, what you can do, what you cannot do, what is PC what is not PC. No one ever asked me if I wanted farting or non-farting on the airplane, but wow, everyone wants to know if I smoke (I don’t).

    DS

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  4. That poor little simple girl because she HAD to be simple not to see that you were over 21 even if just barely! LOL
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    All you have to be is 18 and over, and I have been 18 two or three times now, it was ridiculous to say the least. We are no longer going there for ribs either.

    DS

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  5. Um; I’ve seen pictures of you sir, and no way, shape, or form could you NOT be taken for a senior citizen !!! I’m mean for cryin’ out loud a man who owns and drives a beautiful bus like yours, AND the money to maintain it surely has made it passed his 60’s right???
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    Maybe I should take my bus with me when I go to eat … Yeah right? I went from a dude, to sir, to pardon me gramps, all in one day. I am the Roger Dangerfield of the Internet.

    I don’t get no respect.

    Thanks for your comment.

    DS

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  6. I’m just getting used to the “Senior discount” years and have yet swallowed my pride enough to take it! Wonder if I could get 10% off on my health insurance!
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    I take mine all the time Scott, why not? It doesn’t hurt your pride one bit.

    DS

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  7. you hit the nail on the head. death of common sense. cant use your common sense, you have to follow the set rules no matter what. thats why they strip search little old ladies at the airport but dont dare single out any middle eastern gentlemen for instance.
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    We do our best Dave, thanks. No common sense left in this country, it has all been replaced by PC (Political Correctness) and it is beginning to show. No telling what it is going to end up being in the end. We are not educating our young, and there are no good solutions on the horizon.

    DS

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