Hay Fever Central

Usually the trash truck coming down the road early in the morning, is enough to wake me up.  This morning was distinctly different, I awoke with a gut rendering sneeze.  Then it was off to the races, here come the water-works, the runny nose and the watery eyes, not a whole lot of fun, let me tell you.

In this neck of the woods they have an expression for it, it is called Hay fever, the clinical name is allergies.

Oklahoma weather is some of the most extreme weather in the country, the air this year is either dry as a slice of Texas Toast or so chocked full of humidity that simple chores like breathing are difficult.  Today it is the dry weather and the ragweed and they are eating my lunch.

Often the dues you pay to live in paradise are far much more than what is reasonable.  I think to myself, “I must be built backwards?  My feet smell and my nose runs.”  With no pharmaceutical solutions in the house, I sit here, handkerchief next to my side and work my way thru it.

Are You Taking Anything for It?

A man and a woman were seated next to each other in the first class section of an airplane.  The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently.  Are you OK?”

“I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.”

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. “I have never heard of that condition before,” he said. “Are you taking anything for it?”

The woman nodded, “Black Pepper.”

It’s gonna be a long day today in the Heartland.  Having completely filled one handkerchief and fixing to load up #2, I just cannot get geared up to face the day.

To tell you the truth, I am just not all that hopped up about it at all.  Luck of the draw.

We will see all of you next year.