No Free Lunch In Clark County

How do you know when you are old?

Interesting question, just how is it, that you know that you have changed and you are older?  Is it in the way you walk, the size and girth of your new found stomach, the sprinkling of gray about your temples.  Do you catch yourself running out of breath half-way thru the parlor amour session with the wife in the middle of the night?

What are those familiar signs of aging?  One thing I noticed personally in my case, is my appetite changed, I don’t eat as much as I used to.

When younger, I had a voracious appetite, but these days I tend to fill up rather quickly.  In my youth I ate like a horse, unfortunately, now I kind of resemble one.

The wife and I, used to make what I called regular scheduled runs to Las Vegas to “visit our money” as I put it.  Over the years, that sort of changed too.  Now we go, not so much for the gambling aspect, or the garish surreal glitter of it all, but for the food.

Las Vegas has so many refreshing, change of pace trendy restaurants to eat in, it is simply not funny.

People will be quick to tell you that “everything in Las Vegas is larger than life” and of course, “what happens in ‘Vegas, stays in “Vegas.”  That it is the “money capitol of the world” and all that jazz.  I have found at times it was entirely possible to go thru large sums of serious money in this town, that is a given.  A lot of that certainly applies now for the meals, Las Vegas now routinely posts the priciest tabs for a meal on average, of any city in the U.S..

Just for a moment, stop and consider the logistics of it all.

A city of close to 4 million, in the midst of a arid, dry desert, in the geographical center of nowhere, in one of the most inhospitable regions of the country.  And everything that they eat, consume, use or build has to be hauled in.  So it should come as no small wonder that the cheap buffet and the Steak and Eggs breakfast for next to nothing are now long gone.

Having just returned from another trip to our favorite adult amusement center, this past summer, we can testify that it is all there ripe and ready for the taking.  Bring your appetite and your credit card, put the feed bag on as my Daddy is fond of saying.  You still can have it your way at just about any hour of the day or night.  Just depends on your tastes, whether it be steak or lobster, a crisp taco on the side … you can find it all in Las Vegas, the only glitch is, “you won’t find it for free.”

A couple went for a meal at a Chinese restaurant on The Strip and ordered the “Chicken Surprise.”  The waiter brought the meal, served in a cast iron pot with a lid.  Just as the wife was about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rose slightly and she caught a brief glance of two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slammed back down.

“Good grief, did you see that?” she asked her husband.

He hadn’t, so she asked him to look in the pot.  He reached for it and again the lid rose, and he saw two little eyes looking around before it slammed back down.  Rather perturbed, he called the waiter over, explained what was happening, and demanded an explanation.

“Excuse please,” said the waiter, “what you order?”

The husband replied, “Chicken Surprise.”

“So sorry,” said the waiter, “My mistake… I bring you Peeking Duck!”

Last day of the month, we can put this one in the can.  Tune in tomorrow and we will tell you the easiest way we have found to remove the cap from a bottle of Snapple … When you reach my age, you need every break you can get.

OOO

One thought on “No Free Lunch In Clark County

  1. My husband and I went to Vegas a few years ago and had the best Steak and Eggs at 3:30 am I believe. It was delicious. I thought we would spend all our time (and money) gambling, but there was too much to see, do and eat! It took us 2 weeks to get back to a normal sleeping/waking schedule.
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    Pretty neat, an adult DisneyLand, we always find something new and interesting when we head out there. You can feed the Carp out at Lake Mead, visit the dam, Red Rock Canyon, a host of fun adventures that do not require gambling. I will go back perhaps next year?

    DS

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