Walking into the living-room, I reach down and grab the remote to turn on the television. The news is on, the announcer sitting all prim and proper with a huge stack of important papers, that he occasionally shuffles, says …. “Tonight dismal home sales across the country are leading to economic disaster, stagnant unemployment reaches a new high, Obama cuts pipeline deal 22,000 jobs disappear into thin air, global economic worries continue to haunt Europe, street protests and arrests in New York and political gridlock seems to be the order of the day ….. But first, our lead story … A new study just released by the government today indicates that Happy People live longer!”
Now honestly folks, don’t you kind of pine or wish for the good old days, when the kid walked into the room and said to you … “I demand to speak with the Tooth Fairy!”
Glamour magazine has picked JayLo as the woman of the year in 2011. She showed up in some glitzy-star sprinkled thingy on the music awards and it was eye candy for every single guy in America (and I suppose a lot of married dudes too).
Now while we are at it guys, if you happen to be reading this? If your wife looks at you and says, “Do you think JayLo is sexy?” the proper reply is “No.” Do not, under any circumstance say something totally stoopid like, “Yeah! I mean Wow! What guy wouldn’t think she was sexy?”
This will reserve you a prime spot in the backyard canine condominium (dog house).
Later on, as the wife got up to go to the kitchen, I inquired of her, “Hon, are you going to the kitchen?” and she said, “Yes.” I then offered her my coffee cup and asked, “While you are in there, if you don’t mind, can you get me another cup of coffee?” and she put her hands on her hip and looked at me (with THAT look) and said … “Let JayLo get YOUR coffee!”
So again, the correct answer is …. “No.”
Ms. Lopez had more than a shimmering, nearly nude body suit in her arsenal to upstage her estranged husband, Marc Anthony, at the American Music Awards — she also made sure she performed before he did and with a much bigger production. The superstar “Idol” judge kind of rubbed his face in it, a little like a Britney Spears kind of naner-naner-naner. She also appeared in true Britney fashion, appearing not to be wearing underwear, but that is another post of a different nature I suppose.
While we are on the subject of men and women? Here is an email that we found in the box this week we would like to share with you. A woman’s prayer and then a man’s prayer.
First the ladies prayer.
Before I lay me down to sleep … I pray for a man who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong … One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks … One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s rich and self-employed … And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand … Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen … A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other … And relish visits with my mother.
And then there is the male version of the prayer
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big hooters who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking … This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t really care … Hand me the remote and then go get me a beer.
We sincerely hope that some of this has helped you thru your day, and if you are not locked down rock steady in your relationship with the man of your dreams, we can offer you a solution … there is always an expert waiting in the wings … to help steer you down the path of life in your journey of commitment, here is the link. How to Talk To Your Man
Now as for me?
Well I am going back to the DVR for some much needed research I think I have that topless commercial of JayLo in a Fiat (not her, the car). I also need to figure out why some guy named Bradley Cooper is voted the sexiest man alive … Guess I am relegated to the wanna-be list again, that sucks.
Every girl wants to be Lois Lane and all the guys want to be her Superman. Me? I just want to be in the top five. Think about it. Who actually wants to be the Sexiest Man Alive anyway … It surely would waste the me that I am already am.
OOOFor more of Ms. Lopez, click on the photo above. Kudo’s to Art our correspondent in Reno, Nevada for the email prayer.