What’s Up?

Wednesday, middle of the week for a five day wage slave working in Oklahoma in order to support the Evil Empire.  Let’s get started.

So what does it take in today’s world to be happy? 

Perhaps you need to be Alvin Wong, who may be the happiest man in the nation.  Wong meets all the criteria in Gallup’s “Well-Being Index”: He’s a tall, Asian-American, observant Jew, who is at least 65 and married with children, lives in Hawaii, and makes $120,000 a year.  Which I suppose beats cutting firewood outside of Little Rock, Arkansas.

(Me?  Aw, just give me the Hot Ball and one number and I am in heaven.)

The Back Haul: 

You ever wonder what is in all the containers on the container ships headed back east to China?  Well, they are not all empty, some of them carry American products back to the Orient.  A small town in Georgia has created a mini manufacturing boom by the making and selling of chopsticks.

It turns out that Georgia’s trees, specifically the sweet gum and poplar are ideal wood for making the eating implements.  The Georgia factory is cranking out some 10,000,000 units per week.  Now before you laugh, consider this, that is 80 American jobs right now, and plans for 70 more in the near future.

(Washington, are you listening?)

Maybe Bus Rally in Tenn

I am hearing about a possible non-event in the making.  What would you do if you sponsored a bus rally and then no one showed up?  Which is specifically happening right now to the sponsors of a bus rally in Tennessee which may happen soon … and then again … May not.  Turns out that a lot of pikers told the sponsors they were coming, and then wanted to put it all on VISA, MasterCard or PayPal, and now they are nowhere to be seen. 

That is, as they say, “Priceless.”

One participant is saying:  “What is a worry though… Only two weeks till the event and even though people are saying they are coming, they are not getting registered. I promise you, this is going to be a premiere event.”  Which brings up and interesting question.  “If it flops and does not happen … do you get a refund?”  Don’t bet the farm on it.

(Good lesson here, never count your chickens until the eggs hatch)

Sign of the Times: 

Hallmark Cards now is producing a new greeting card for all those poor slobs that have lost their jobs.  They are marketed under a line of “sympathy cards” and have such tid bits as:  “Don’t think of it as losing your job” reads one, “Think of it as a time out between stupid bosses.” Nothing like looking at the bright side of life, eh?

(Maybe it is me, but I just don’t get it)

Don’t Squeeze The Charmin: 

Here is another one that I just don’t relate to personally.  This commercial on television where all the women are standing around and the announcer says … “Now women in America can finally tell us what they think about toilet paper.”  I’m also mesmerized by the commercial featuring middle-aged men gleefully celebrating their ability to drink water and drive long distances (I particularly enjoy that the slightly younger women in that one are turned on knowing that their old geezers don’t have to urinate frequently).

(Uh huh, sure)

It’s a bird … It’s a plane … It’s NASA

NASA recently lost a 6 ton satellite when it fell out of orbit and landed harmlessly in the South Pacific.  When the satellite disappeared off radar, one scientist was reported to have said, “Wow, did it hit Seattle?”  Now here you are, sitting in your living room, watching Dancin’ With The Stars and Chaz is doing the Paso-dob-ley and she is showing a lot of parts that her mama told her to cover up in high school and then boom! … A 1 ton Dooley pickup comes hurtling thru the ceiling …

(Now that, boys & girls is government science for you)

Cheer Up Dammit: 

Owning an aquarium is good for you, not so good for the inhabitants inside.  A new survey recently released, notes that ornamental fish kept in tanks bite, murder, and cannibalize each other and that they are doing this more often that they do in the wild.  Apparently it is because they’re angry about living in crowded, confined spaces.

(Sort of like the way I feel around the 15th of April)

The Times Are A Changin

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops has changed the word “booty” to “spoils: in a new translation of the Bible.  “Booty”, to younger generations, connotes a portion of the body, often shaken in time to music, rather than the spoils of war.  “We needed a new translation because English is a living language”.

Waaaaaaaaaaseup With Dat?

(This is better than a card, trust me)

As usual, comments section is open, let ‘er rip!


Thanks to Crackerboy for the link.