Time Stamp

Why is it when I see something like this alongside the road, I get that old familar feeling deep down in my gut, that I clearly realize as dangerous?  This can only lead to long hours in the shop, numerous cuts, bruises, scrapes and boxes of band-aids.  Missed dinners and family opportunities.  No wonder they call these people (bus) nuts.

Been studying stupid principles and behaviors this week.  For instance:  Putting a doorbell or a front door chime in a commercial should be illegal, especially at nappy time.  Man, don’t you feel stooopid, when you get up, go out there and answer that door and find yourself standing on the front porch, which is empty looking around, I do.

What is this preoccupation with celebrating anniversaries of deceased people in this country?

Princess Diana at fifty … tomorrow at seven P.M.
Elvis celebrates his _____ birthday today.
Has anyone noticed that these people are no longer with us, they are of course, dead.
Maybe we should send everyone concerned a memo?

New and improved dog food, like he is going to notice the difference?
I just love that rich, hearty, beefy flavor … where is it that people talk like this?
Gets out deep down stains and blood, hey, if you have blood stains, I don’t know how to tell you this …  but you have more than just a laundry problem.

NBC’s America’s Got Talent … Skipping rope?
Riveting in a STRAIGHT LINE now that is talent.
Fixing a leaking fuel line on the road, faster than a mailman delivering Clearing House Sweepstake Letters at a pit bull convention … now that is talent.
Installing new LED’s all the way around and not having to build her a new kitchen … what can I say?

Maybe it is me, but coffee always seems to taste better when it is consumed out of an old cracked cup.

Children are God’s punnishment for enjoying sex … Grandchildren are a gift from Heaven.  My grandson wanted to know yesterday how it was that I became such a tough old geezer?  I just told him “it was all that dinosaur hunting I did as a kid, draggin’ the decoy around, the thing must have weighed three tons.”

He is also a music affectionaldo (sp) … No big surprise … He doesn’t like my music, always wants to change the channel when we are out running around doing what he calls “guy things.”  (truth be known, me and my little sister used to do it all the time to our Dad)

You say Lady Gaga, I say Lady Antebellum …
You say Jason Derulo, I say Jason Aldean
You say T-Pain, I say T-Swift …
You say Ke$ha, I say Kenny
You say Pitbull, I say Paisley
You say Justin Bieber, I say Justin Moore and go grow a pair

92% of teenagers have turned to Hip Hop and Pop. If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music,then copy this missive and put it on your refrigerator with a little magnet shaped in the image of a piece of fruit.  The rest of you …. Stop being an idiot and start listening to real music!!!


Yeah, that would be okay, ride around in my big O entertainer, with five or six roof airs, humming away up on the roof.  My sat. TV, and hurricane reports from what seems like a lifetime away from where I am, my own born in the USA driver behind a closed door up front.

Me and the old guitar strumming away and racking up the miles.  “I got those Monday morning, wake up its early, wash behind your ears they are dirty, eat your eggs and oatmeal, rush to work blues …. Yeah.”  (Toby Keith and Willie … Eat Yo’ Heart Out … Someone call my agent, we have a hit)

Oh well, some things are best left unsaid.  Glancing up at the old clock up on the wall and it tells me what I already knew.  It’s almost time for a road trip.Ice ‘em down Van-Man, soon I will be headed your way!
Find me a long spot in the back at the KOA.