It’s Okay … No Really … It’s Okay

The wind is out of the south, like a blast furnace has suddenly fired up on the north side of Dallas and it has all blown an ill wind to my side of town.Hot here, and it is heating up as summer approaches. It was so hot here today, I saw a dog chasing a cat, and they both were walking.

Which just reminded me, only a few days and it will be July.The wheat is in, time to kick back, a holiday.Watermelon, potato salad, fried dead cluckers, and the Fourth of July, an American tradition.

Unfortunately it also brings another year of Oklahoma idiot news reports of dumb-bells blowing up tomato’s and assorted large items of fruit to point out the dangers of fireworks.Mini-documentary Videos of Okies buying the stuff, and then having the Oklahoma City Fire Marshall confiscate it when they cross the county line, happens every year.So you tell me, has there ever been documented proof of anyone “actually eating a sparkler?”

Give me a break.

A 21 year old tanning salon operator in Connecticut has been arrested and given two years probation for taking photo’s of teenagers in a tanning salon thru a ceiling tile in the roof.He did this with a cellphone (reach out, reach out, and bug somebody!), he told the judge that he was up there crawling in the overhead, using his cellphone as a light, to inspect wiring.(Yeah I know, and they walk amongst us, and they also procreate.)

Checking the wiring?Uh huh, sure.That is like, “in case of a water landing, your seat cushion will become a floatation device.”I believed that one too.

In case you’re interested, there is a way where you can figure out if you are living next to one of these perverts.You just go to Felonspy.com . After you type in your address, it pinpoints all the people close to your home that have been convicted of ANY felonies. Then you just click on the red pins/balloons on the map and it gives you the offenders name, age, and felony offense.

And don’t go typing my address in there that is not funny, and yes, the “pictures at the Post Office” have come down.

Trucking companies in Arizona are saying that thieves are stealing diesel fuel out of the trucks while the drivers are sleeping with “high volume pump devices.”This was formerly known as a garden hose back in the old days, now as we are in the 21st Century this has been changed to “high volume devices.”Here is a novel idea, buy some locking gas caps.Yawn.

My Daddy used to say on the annual trek back to Oklahoma in the 50’s and 60’s.He said he could always tell when he was getting close to Oklahoma.The wife would get bitchy, the kids started fighting in the car, and he had the urge to siphon some gas.

Back in the good ol’ days, eh?

The news tonight was the same old crap … 81.5% of the people you ask will tell you “We are on the wrong track, and things is bad man, really bad.”The public mood in this country is like a carton of eight day old milk left out on the kitchen counter, kind of sour right now.With the high price of gasoline, this debacle in Afghanistn and Pakistan, people are not all that upbeat.I believe the exact quote I heard last was something about “going to hell in a hand-basket?”

Unemployment isn’t all that bad, 5.5% that isn’t terrible, not good, but not terrible.Living standards from a historical viewpoint are the best they have been in recent years, things are, believe it or not, pretty good.But when you turn on the television, “the sky is falling … the sky is falling” and the mood is mostly somber.  I have been kind of concerned about it myself.(Some guy just the other day sent me an email that said, I sure wish you would stop whining about all this ______ .)

It occurred to me, “if the news ever gets brighter, we are going to be in trouble.”  There is truly going to be a void in America (one of these days).Who am I going to blame for Global Warming, then there is the terrorism thing (that mostly did not happen but it could, any time now, according to the government), instability in the oil producing countries, oops, excuse me, “the middle east.”This invasion thing, supporting Israel, and/or pillaging the resources of the planet on an untold scale.

What I am going to do, if the news does a turn around, and everything is all of a sudden …. good?  Where will be my simplistic worldview of things then?

Luckily for me, my very own Charlie Sheen star is on the horizon and it is shining down on me.

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