Had To Happen

Bought my fuel yesterday and it came to $79.02 which of course “shocked me somewhat.”  I have to admit, I was not ready for that, later on during the trip to town I amused myself by imagining that “I am only steps away from a one-hundred dollar tankful.”  Who in their wildest dreams would have ever imagined such a thing.  Certainly … not me.

smiling ladies

Some things and I suppose, people, age well.  Some things I suppose, like people, just get old.  Get cantankerous, out of sorts, and hard to deal with.  I often fall into that second category.  I didn’t fare all that well last week in the smile department, but this week, I am going to do better.  I am going to make a “concentrated effort to smile more, amuse myself, cheer up even if it kills me.”

This past week I have been suffering thru irritable male syndrome.  My testosterone levels have been lower than a New Orleans levy at flood stage and my brain, the part of my brain that is in charge of basic’s such as functioning, emotions, behavior, have been strangely out to lunch for most of the week.

The mere thought of me smiling about anything here lately, is as foreign to me as Obama speaking in Farsi when he begs for more oil.  I desperately want to smile, just isn’t all that much of a humorous nature here lately.  But I am gonna do better.

I have made up my mind that I AM GOING TO GO FOR IT!

Perhaps I need to get more sleep, that might be the problem.  I am finding out as I age, I need at least 8 hours of sleep a day, and 10 hours at night.  Sleep is the best thing, and the cheapest thing available to me these days.  I love to sleep, the best of two worlds, you get to be alive and unconscious at the same time.  And on some days, you can actually work in a nap.

That makes me smile.

It is not easy to say exactly what makes one box of odds and ends a valuable antique, and what makes another box a piece of junk.   But the thought of tossing one (out of our garage, which is full of the trash of man) into a dumpster …. That makes me smile.  It might be that throwing stuff away that is cluttering up your home is a cathartic experience that just feels good.  That too, makes me smile.

The mere thought of it upsetting the little woman’s applecart, that is just an added bonus … Hey, we are on a roll.

Not being able to yell out “Oh boy!” in Jonesboro, Georgia, or finding out that unrestrained giggling on the street is illegal in Helena, Montana; those insane laws make me smile.  It is illegal in the state of Oklahoma to tie your ass up within 50 ft of a courthouse, ass meaning donkey.  Which would be appropriate term for anyone drafting such legislation or allowing it to remain on the books.  Purchasing a new car for thousands of dollars in order to save hundreds on gas … that makes me smile.

When they announce on the news that they have busted some hooker and she has a black book that is full of politicians names …… that makes me smile.

Reading in the paper that the longest earthworm ever found in the world measured 22 ft. from head to toe, that makes me smile, I mean, where would one ever use stupid useless information like that?  Did you know that the word Mascara, a cosmetic applied to darken eyelashes comes from the Spanish word ma’scara, which in terms come from the Italian maschera, both of which mean, appropriately, “mask.”  The root of the words however come for Arabic maskharah, which means buffoon or clown.

Which is what I would be if I lived in San Francisco and used the stuff, that makes me smile.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have all the answers, and ninety percent of the time, I completely forget the questions.  My family physician told me that I have something he called Attention Deficit Disorder.  He said, “A.D.D. is a complex disorder, blah, blah, blah.”  I didn’t pay much attention to the rest of it.

This friend of mine, who happens to be from California, is back here to visit with the family.  We went out to eat yesterday and he said during lunch, “If you were to go camping out in the woods, and someone, late at night, snuck into your tent and molested you would you tell anyone about it?” And I thought about it a minute, and replied, “No way.  I don’t want no one to know something that terrible happened to me!” He smiled and then said ……… “You wanna go fishin’ this weekend?” ….

That … Makes me smile.

So as you can see, I am just about clueless.  Happy and stupid this morning, pour me another cup of that coffee and don’t worry about my road rage, I will take care of it. I don’t have any idea what makes some people smile and others to frown.  I don’t know why some people consistently have a “nice day” and others never seem to see it materialize.

This morning, at this very moment, I am smiling a great deal, because the computers’ ISP is down, the stoooopid computer doesn’t know this, and it keeps trying to update me, download me, and is getting frustrated as all get-out (Okie Expression) because it is not being allowed to function in a rational manner.  It has sent me numerous dialogue boxes and/or messages asking  that I re-establish the link.

Mid week, I get this letter from my “friendly State Farm Agent” and it says, rather tersely, “our records indicate that your present telephone number is no longer 405- **** and that number is no longer your number.  Please inform us of your new number immediately and any other cell phone numbers that you have.”

Yeah right, I don’t “immediately” do anything for anyone, yet alone a stinking insurance company.  Tossing that into the trash bin … that makes me smile.

And last but not least.  I think about all of my Amigo’s from down south.  The mere thought of knowing I have all these wonderful people coming to this country each and everyday and they are depending on me …. Now that … Believe it or not …  That makes me smile!

OOO