Say Ah ….

This morning I am reminded of that old saying, “Life begins at forty.”  Ever heard that one?  Well, it is not exactly true, life doesn’t begin at forty … maintenance begins at forty!  Had to do the checkup thing this week with my doctor and it appears that my numbers are not all that good.  I am kind of used to it, if you want to know the truth, at my age, I kind of expect it.  But this time, they are not only bad, they are worse than bad, they are not good at all.  So this means, that I have to start exercising again.

It seems that my body has made a friend of fat, it no longer burns it, but rather openly invites it in and provides it a home.  I find myself metabolically challenged and do not seem to be ridding myself of this harmful substance, but storing it.  So I have to start walking, I have to start riding the bike, I have to quit bellying up to the salad bar with the big boys and make some changes.

You know you have health issues, but if you are like me, like most men, you just blow it off and continue on.  I would say on the whole women are more responsive to medical advice than men.  If a woman steps up on a scale and see’s numbers she doesn’t like, it is tantamount to the end of the world!  Now a guy, he steps onto the scale, and it says to him, “Only one person on the scale at a time” well, that isn’t a big deal, he just says to himself, “I will come back later.”

I could do as I always do, con myself into believing that this isn’t my problem, when it surely is.  I used to do that all the time, I gained 35 lbs when I stopped smoking and I used to conveniently use that for my excuse, but that was some 15 years ago, plenty of time to have shed the weight in the meantime.

Are you still smoking?

If you have not stopped or quit, you should.  A typical smoker who refuses or fails to give up has a roughly 15% risk of lung cancer over their lifetime. But with two copies of the genetic variant, this rises to 23%.  In contrast, someone who has smoked fewer than 100 cigarettes in their entire life has a less-than-1% chance of developing the disease.  As I have stated, I gave them up about fifteen years ago, and the other day I happened to notice a pack of Marlboro’s was $5.50 per pack.  Unbelievable, someone owes me about $28,000.00!

Smoking will kill ya …. No joke.

A woman goes into a drugstore and walks up to the pharmacist and says, “I need something to give to my husband to kill him.  Cyanide, some kind of poison.”  The druggist is flabbergasted, he cannot believe that she actually has said this to him.

“Listen lady, I cannot give you something to kill your husband.  First it is illegal, second, I would lose my job, third, my good standing in the community would be jeopardized.  I just cannot do it.”

So she looks at him and says, “Look at these, and hands him a handful of photographs of the druggists’ wife and her husband in bed together at the local motel.”

He looks at them for a while, and then looks up and says … “Oh, this is different, I didn’t know that you had a prescription.”

No good huh?  Well whadya expect for free?

I did notice something interesting the day after Valentine’s Day.  I was over at the store, and in the section where they sell the cards, I noticed one very peculiar thing.  All of the cards for the women, my wife, my girlfriend, all of them were gone, all of the female card selections were exhausted because of the holiday.

On the other hand, all of the masculine cards, the one for the boyfriend and the husband, well, there were ample supplies of them to be had.  Proof positive, it is a woman’s holiday.

I read something interesting the other day and I thought I might share this with you before closing.

Young adults can discern another person’s attitude toward sexual relationships just by looking at his or her face, according to a British study of 700 heterosexual volunteers.  The Durham University-led study also found that men generally prefer women who they believe are open to short-term sexual relationships, while women generally prefer men who they perceive to be potentially suitable for a long-term relationship.

The study participants looked at photographs of faces of members of the opposite sex (all in their early 20s) and were asked to judge their attractiveness and sexual attitudes. Their judgments were compared with the actual attitudes and behaviors of the people in the photos.

As it turned out, 72 percent of the 153 volunteers in the first study sample correctly identified sexual attitudes from photos more than 50 percent of the time.  Out of curiosity, I took several pictures of myself, showed them to the wife, explained the survey or test to her, she agreed to participate.

Handing the pictures to her at the kitchen table, she quickly went thru the stack, studying each one and repeating out loud … “NO .. NO… NO … NO-WAY!  DEFINITELY NOT.”

Oh well, so much for science … Back to the drawing board.

OOO

3 thoughts on “Say Ah ….

  1. I like the post, not the fact that your numbers are bad. I may hit that point someday, as exercise and I are not friends but I had a grandmother who had three martinis every night, never moved and lived until 96. I’m holding out for having her genes. Take care of yourself, you.
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    Thank you for your reply and rest assured, I am going to take care of myself. I know that the gene pool is important, but not always accurate. I have a friend, she walks four miles per day, she eats well, she takes great care of herself (by most standards) and she has problems too. It has a lot to do with aging, I am convinced of that. My grandfather made it to 94 but my dad only made 69, this is what I am saying.

    DS

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  2. I like cupcake!!!
    xx
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    Me too!

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  3. I have the pleasure of knowing “Cupcake” and BCO is lucky man!! But Cupcake is a lucky gal as well!
    Here is to GOOD GENES and GOOD HEALTH!
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    She looked at me the other day and said … You never listen to me …. Or something like that, I am not sure. We have our days, and I suppose in the end, the good will outweigh the bad … only time will tell.
    DS

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