Fishin’ Around

You ever watch this movie “Ghost?”  It stars Whoopie Goldberg, Demi Moore and the late Patrick Swayzee.  I am watching this thing today, doing a lot of television, because of the winter storms.  There is a scene in this movie, where Swayzee is standing across the street from the shop where Whoopie is set up telling peoples’ fortunes.  He is at this time a ghost.  He has been killed.  He is desperate and searching for an elusive something?

Still with me here?  Good.

Now this “ghost” see’s her sign and decides to cross the street in order to investigate further.  Now here is the part that cracks me up.  Swayzee, steps off the sidewalk and into the street …. Now before walking across this street, he “LOOKS BOTH WAYS” for automobiles!  Which kind of amuses me, if you are a ghost, and you are already dead, why do you check for cars before you cross the street?

Going to be a long winter boys & girls … A long winter indeed.

Teenager walking home from school stops at the local pet shop and purchases two gold fish, and then as his second stop, he drops by the Chinese Restaurant and gets an order of Chop Suey to go.  Both are in similar containers, little white boxes, metal handles.  Upon reaching his home, he goes upstairs, opens the box and dumps the contents of the box into the fishbowl.

Unfortunately for him.  It is the Chop Suey, he has chosen the wrong box.  He is standing there looking at all of this floating around in the bowl, and his father happens to walk down the hallway, he sees the Chop Suey, and enters the room.

“What’s that?” he asks the boy, and the boy replies, “Chop Suey.” The father stands there for a moment or two and then says, “Okay, I guess it is alright.  But you are taking care of it.  Don’t expect me or your mother to feed it for you.”

Which believe it or not, brings us to my wife.

My wife, bless her heart, I love her too death.  But she will often rag me about allowing my silverware to lie on the table at the eatery.  This drives her insane (a short trip on some days I might add) when I do this.  I will lay my tools on the table and she will go off on me like you would not believe!

I will say, “What in the world is the matter with you woman?” and then she will, usually in great detail, explain to me the inner workings of the Atlanta Disease Control Center, and vividly describe every known virus, bacterial infection, or whatever, that ever spent one nano-second on this planet.  In no uncertain terms describe every known virus, plague all the way back to the time of Moses’ and the forty-years wandering in the desert sands of Egypt.

Now when you have a person sitting right across from you doing this, vividly explaining how parts of your anatomy are going to rot off and fall on the floor, simply because you did not lay your tools on the napkin. Well, that can be a tad bit disconcerting to the average guy, to say nothing as to what it will do for your appetite.

Recently we were in Houston, Texas, and took the kid’s and the grand-babies out to eat.  We were steered to a suitable location and we all sat down and prepared for the meal and some conversation.  About that time, my daughter-in-law reaches into this bag thingy that has all the baby stuff in it, and produces a box of these small orange crackers that are called “Gold Fish.”

She opens the box, and dumps a copious amount of the items STRAIGHT ONTO THE TABLE right in front of me and my wife.

So I turn and I look at my wife, who by the way, seems oblivious to it all.  After a considerable amount of time, what I considered reasonable, I look at my wife and I say:  “Now will you look at that!  She dumped all those crackers on that table and that baby is eating them, what about that?  Huh, huh?  What about that?  How can she do that, and you sit here and say nothing.  Answer me that.”

My wife thought about it for a small amount of time (about a fraction of a second actually) and then said to me:  “That is her baby.  And you are mine.” Give it up men, you cannot win.  Just pack it in and move on.

Have a great weekend, we will see you all on Monday.