Second Time Around

Everyone must be out of town, or something.  Visitors to the blog seem to be down and I don’t know why.  On some days, you step back take a long hard look at it and then you think. You know what … I really don’t care. I know in my heart and the core of my being that Creative Endeavors is working, it lifts a spirit every now and then.  Perhaps it helps in maybe the smallest of ways, it does something in this world that is positive and good, and that is fine with me. It is slowly and surely setting records, achieving the goals that I set in the beginning, so I like the time spent here, it seems to be productive and positive.  I shall continue and wait for the readers to come back.

I only have one shot at this, so I do my best to make it count.

Which often makes me wonder, ” In your or in my next life, what would we do differently, if we had it all to do over what would be different from what I have now.”  I don’t know. If we could change something what do you suppose it would be?  I hug the coffee cup in my hands, it warms my soul, and I consider my options.

Here are some of my conclusions.  In my next life … My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones. All the ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl thru. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten dungeon somewhere on level seven.

I have determined in my next life, that just shooting my enemies is really too good for them. That the artifact that is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be instead kept where it is handy, easy to get to in times of crisis, a place like my savings deposit box.

I will not in my next life, gloat over my enemies’ predicament before killing them. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, “Are you afraid without your armies to back you up?” My reply will be, “No — Thank you very much (always the gentleman, I will not be brave, just sensible)

And when I have successfully defeated and captured my adversary and he says to me, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?”

I’ll shoot him and then say, “No.”

In my next life, after I kidnap the beautiful princess, with a seductive smile and nice ta-tahs, we will be married immediately at a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

In my next life I will also never order or include any kind of self-destruct mechanism unless it is absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled.— “Danger. Do Not Push.”

I will not order my lieutenants to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me — I will do it myself. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum — a small hotel well outside my borders will suffice just fine. I will be at all time secure in my identity and my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show that they pose no threat to evil.

In my next life I will not waste time making my enemies death look like an accident. I am not accountable to anyone and my other enemies would not believe it anyway. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word “mercy.” I simply will not choose to show it to any of them. In the interest of the public, all of my enemies will be cremated not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization. They will not be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress code, or don’t ask, don’t tell regime of thought.

The hero is not entitled to a “last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.”

We will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into action will be foiled. We will design all doomsday machines ourselves and if necessary we will hire a mad scientist to assist us, or at least consult with Al Gore beforehand.

These weapons will be known as “WMD” and will be mostly in the background or just plain made up and not real – the Rummsfield Rove Compact implied threat principle.

Much like the current administration in charge right now, I will never employ people as advisers, nor will I occasionally listen to their advice. I will not allow any one commercial by William Shatner or a re-run of the Survivor Series in my new life.  Most likely I will be voted off the island first.

And most importantly, in the future. In my next life … “I will try and finish High School so I can make my little blog even better in the future.” If by perhaps chance or circumstance “something worthwhile or important happens between now and then” I will try to make note of it and write it down.



One thought on “Second Time Around

  1. Feeling lonely? But, I know exactly what you mean. I sometimes wonder if I am addressing the air. Then I’ll find out someone is reading my blogs, just not commenting. I love, love, love your alternate world scenario.
    Wait…you have had over a million visitors since 2008? I am happy to discover a couple!
    This morning I was reading a freshly pressed blog and this person stated “I am going to post once a week in 2011.” Nothing earth shaking about that … I often post “everyday.”

    But then at the bottom of the page I see it … 111 comments, 111 people liked this post. And I think to myself … What is wrong with this picture?

    I tell myself all the time “it is not in the hit count … it is in the quality” and then I fall prey to my own vices. I apologize. It must be the weather or something, perhaps I need some sunshine. Just gonna keep choppin Mroby and watch where the chips fly!



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