The votes having been counted, it was noted that the tribe had a new chief. He was a young chief, not versed in the ways and rituals of the tribe. He stood before them and promised that he would do the very best that he was capable of as their new leader.
One brave asked him, “Chief, will we have a bad winter?”
The new chief, not really knowing, said to him, “Me tell you tomorrow.” That night, he called the U.S. Weather Service and inquired about the weather, the man on the phone said to him, “Right now, we are not all that sure. Cut firewood.”
So the next day, the new chief assembled the tribe and said to them, “Winter cold. Cut firewood.”
A month later, the same brave, same question. “What will winter be like this year?” again the new chief tells him, “See me tomorrow.” He then again calls the U.S. Weather Service in Santa Fe New Mexico and they tell him, “We are not sure. Cut firewood.”
So again the new chief assembles everyone and tells them the same news, adding “cut more firewood.”
Two months goes by and it turns a little bit nippy, the leaves have fallen from the tree’s, there is a little frost on the pumpkin early in the morning. Again the tribe member inquires about the weather, again the new chief tells him to see him tomorrow. He dials up the number, and makes the inquiry.
“What winter be like?” The man at the U.S. Weather Bureau on the other end says, “We aren’t sure, but it may get really bad, all these Indians around here are cutting firewood like crazy!”
Turning cold, old man winter is just around the corner. I can tell as my old bones tell me so every morning when I roll out of bed. It has gotten so bad, that now I find, different parts of me are waking up at different times. We had some arctic cold move thru here over the weekend.
Let it be known, “I am not a Big Fan of Wintertime. No Sir.” This is the time of the year when you start having problems with your skin, it dries out, things start itching on you, you catch yourself scratching parts of your body that you have not seen in five years.
One thing you can do to avoid dry winter skin is to not take hot showers. Long, hot showers strip the skin of essential oils. You can also switch soaps. Use something that is not all that harsh. Wash only what needs washing (the stinky parts) and let the rest of it go. This will not make any points with the little woman, but we are talking survival here, not affection.
Use more moisturizers, I prefer the pump kind in the bottle, but I have been told they are not good enough to get the job done. You need thick moisturizers. The hard, thick creamy jobs, it should have a sort of Vanilla Milk Shake texture. You can also increase the indoor humidity of your home in the winter. And lastly, if none of this works for you, you can move to Arizona or Florida.
Tomorrow boys & girls, we will show you how to make a therm-o-nuclear device out of ordinary household cleaners found around the house, don’t miss it. (I know I am really looking forward to it)