Last Words

Up early this morning, as is my habit, and I am reading where the state of Ohio has limited the amount of time a prisoner facing execution can have for his “last words.”  I have to admit, I am beginning to wonder if the entire country hasn’t gone loopy?

Loopy is by the way, an age old expression (that I just made up) to imply that your elevator is not running to the top floor.  Which this piece certainly will qualify.

The good folks in Ohio have imposed a time limit on the last words of condemned prisoners.  The new rule authorizes wardens to set what they call “reasonable restrictions” on the content and length of an inmate’s last remarks.  They got a little miffed recently because a convicted murderer apologized and recited the “Hail Mary” for 17 minutes.  I guess the warden was somewhat irritated, him missing the IHOP-BOGO (Buy One Get One Free Senior Citizen Discount Meal) opportunity at 3:30 P.M. or something.

We seem to be majoring in minor things here lately … Aren’t there more important issues concerning this country or the State of Ohio?  Excuse me, but do we really need this?

Not long ago, out in the Panhandle of Oklahoma, ranchers started to notice that a lot of cattle were missing.  It being fairly evident that a rustler was working the area, the local sheriff got up a posse and they started searching the hog backs and small canyons for the lawbreaker.

It did not take long, and he was found, along with several head of cattle that did not belong to him.

At that time it was decided by those in charge, that a little prairie justice would be served on this rustler.  So they sat out and located a suitable tree, a stately cottonwood that had stood in that spot for many a year.  Immediately after throwing a rope over the first limb, the sheriff looked at the poor little rustler and said, “Son, do you have any last words, before we string you up?”

The rustler looked the sheriff in the eye, and said, “No sir.  Go ahead.”

About that time, a preacher who was standing in the mob yelled out to the sheriff, “Sheriff if that boy don’t want them last words, I will take them.”  Well, this had never before happened, the sheriff taken back a little, looked at the rustler and said to him, “Son, do you have a problem with that preacher taking your last words?”

Again the rustler looked at the sheriff and said, “No.  Just one thing.  Hang me first, I have heard him preach before.”