One of my favorite commercials on television these days is the poor sap, sitting on a bench at the sea-shore, and a huge shark comes onto the pier and starts chewing on his shoulder-blade. He of course is oblivious to all of this, as his cigarette urge has kicked in. I know this is somehow sort of sick, but I can relate to this guy, the shark on the arm and all, it often for me, just feels kind of natural.
Perhaps I am developing the mental mindset of an “Old Tymer”(sp) and do not know it. Life has it seasons, it has it reasons, we are all but unwilling participants in The Grand Ride of A Lifetime. Such is life on the Great Plains, replete with its share of aches and pains. Does the advancement in years lead to crankiness in the male of the species? People in general are really starting to hack me off here lately. I am afraid I would have been voted off the island weeks ago.
In other words … “C’Mon shark!”
They say the proof is in the pudding. It is not easy watching your dreams slowly die and I find myself struggling to make sense of it all. Last week for instance, on Wednesday, I stopped telling people “to have a nice day” as I was fairly sure I might kill someone by Saturday. This is the river of my emotions, too many bad days, with oodles of gloom in between, can take a toll on a guy. It almost has a tendency to warp the soul.
But not all the news is bad.
“To my astonishment, this was the year I beat 70 percent of my fear of success and dissolved 80 percent of my tendency to sabotage my junkyard foes and those who do me wrong. Not only that. I have almost reconciled my checkbook twice.
I started walking two miles per day, and as of last Tuesday, I was 11 miles outside of Amarillo.
There is also the distinct possibility that my applications at McDonald’s have been approved under the new McDonald’s minimum-wage-work until you die plan. I can now finally put my G.I. Bill bachelors of Liberal Arts degree to good use …… You want fries with that?
And lastly, I may have been approved for a paper route in my neighborhood!
Been an interesting year dealing with all this. A glimmer of hope presents itself on my horizon. My annual tax bill arrives next month, and the politico’s in Washington are telling me this could prove to be one of the best years’ ever. At least I am not riding on the top of a commuter train, with a goat tucked under each arm, in some third world country of un-named origin.
In other words … Life such as it is in America … is still pretty sweet. Things could be a lot worse.
Clearly I need help.