Turning Myself Around

The sign read, “Gas $2.21 per gallon” so I thought to myself, “that sure is cheap, I am gonna get some of that.”  Isn’t that sad, I mean, I have reached a point in life, where I conceive $2.21 per gallon as “cheap.”  I don’t know what is wrong with me, like Pavlov’s dogs, I have been conditioned to believe that they are giving me a good deal.

I need to grow a pair, and get back to bitching, I have become too complacent.

Turned on the tube and the weatherman is predicting, how was it he put it?   Oh yeah, “the Metroplex are may be experiencing some mild severe weather today.”  I don’t know what a Metroplex might be, I live in a city, and how do you get “mild severe” weather?  I get a kick out of the media news people and how they pump things up to make them sound so important, when in fact, “they have nothing.”

  • He was shot by an “Uninvited guest” and then rushed to the hospital.
  • Homeless people are “highly depressed” which is what researchers have found.
  • The following is a “live recording” of the facts.
  • Here is Mark with our “authentic reproduction” of what happened.
  • Today a new race of people, who live inside the earth, were discovered, when one of them came to the surface to go to China-Mart to buy a sun lamp.

Mmmmmmm, coffee is good this morning, fresh pot, you should be here, or in the interest of “good mental health” perhaps it would be safer to be somewhere else.

You make the call.

That is another one, you go to my buddy’s house and he will ask you, “want some coffee?”  Which always strikes me as funny, as I have coffee at home, why would he offer me some?  We are a funny bunch aren’t we?  My father used to say to me, “straighten up and fly right or I am going to read you the riot act.”

Being a young man, I was always hoping for something better, like “The Gentleman’s Guide to French Kissing” or something like that, when you are a teenager, you don’t want anyone reading any kind of act to you.

Man, that takes the cake.  Where did that one come from?  Where do you take a cake?  How come it is not “that takes the pie?” which we all know is easier to carry than a cake, which would be a “piece of cake.”


Been a target rich environment for word games this week, here is a mid week ditty for you.  “To go inside yourself, you must empty your mind and clear your head.”  More psycho-babble from Channel Five, I won’t say who, but he is almost completely bald, used to live in Texas, his wife is named after a bird, and he is often full of it.

Which reminds me.  That is like the expression, “the guy was completely beside himself.”  How do you get “beside” yo’self, and they thought Ebonics was weird?

Time to go, remember the only thing which isn’t up for grabs is no change, and I think it is fair to say, it is all to play for, except for no change.  And finally, in closing, remember that you are never ever completely alone; whether you are inside or beside yourself.  When it gets down to the nitty gritty, in the end, you will always have yourself.

Got that?

So goes Wednesday 6-24-09, Hump Day for a five day a week, minimum wage slave in Oklahoma, hang in there, you almost have it made.  If none of this is working for you, I guess you will just have to get inside yo’self, and clear your head.  I have done all I truthfully feel I can do this day …

Like the folks over at RosettaStone say …. “One day, his son would speak to the world, and he wanted them to understand.” Alas …. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but it is time for me to slink off and “grow a pair” or find some other constructive avenue of thought to while away my day.


One thought on “Turning Myself Around

  1. “…remember the only thing which isn’t up for grabs is no change, ……..”

    It is important to remember that in this life change is inevitable, except from a vending machine, of course.


Comments are closed.