Summertime Weenies

Do good and they will screw you around anyway.

An Ohio man has been arrested and charged with disorderly conduct for mowing the grass in a neglected public park.  The man admitted he continued mowing the foot high grass in the park after park officials asked him to stop, but says that since budget cuts forced the city to scale back mowing operations, the park had become an eyesore.  “I was only trying to save the city some money” lamented the do-gooder now facing charges.

Religious Lip Service

A bad week for Rev. Alberto Cutie, the hunky Miami Beach celebrity priest was recently spotted on a beach smooching it up with a well-rounded, good looking, parishioner.  The Catholic Church however took a rather dim view of this and he was told he had to quit the church.  So with his girlfriend at his side, Alberto announced that he was quitting the church and becoming a Episcopalian, who will let him canoodle all he likes.  Where there is a will … there is a family squabble, no wait, that isn’t right.

Heating Up

global

Beginning to get hot here in the Heartland, summer it seems is in full swing, soon to be, triple digit heat and I suppose numerous news related articles on the heat and melt down of the polar ice caps.  Which adds to the mix because there doesn’t seem to be a lot of anything going on around here lately.  Oklahoma is like that, not a whole lot of anything “going down” is normal procedure or protocol, oh sure, every now and then a report of someone seeing Elvis sneaking into a port-a-potty with suitcase full of cheese burrito’s or something like that, but most of the time it is just quiet.

TOP SECRET

Now the federal government is different, always some “news” about the govt.  Recently they mistakenly posted on the Internet a “highly confidential” 266-page report on the nations nuclear plants, weapons labs, and nuclear-storage sites, with specific locations and details on what can be found there.  Nothing like making it easy for those folks who are not so fond of us, to find what it is they need to put us away.

Find your Happy Place.

Remember all those old wacky episodes of Cheer’s when Frazier Crane would take all the nut jobs up in an airliner and help them with their respective phobias about flying?  And he would admonish them to “Find your happy place, get in your happy place,” turns out there are real issues here.

A man in New York recently began a month long odyssey in which he’ll take up to 12 airline flights per day to conquer is fear of flying.  He will be criss-crossing the country getting off only to switch flights, while following advice to “breathe, shut your eyes, and think tranquil thoughts.”  Takes all kinds to make a world I guess.

One more?  Okay I gnanked this one from True Blue Texan.

To Houston, in fact, where an unaccompanied 8-year-old girl was placed on the wrong Continental Airlines flight by staff. Meaning to go to Charlotte, she instead ended up in Fayetteville. And apparently the only way to fix the problem was to send her back to Houston and then on to Charlotte.

To make matters worse, Continental had a two fer that weekend on losing children. In Boston, a 10-year-old headed from Boston to Cleveland ended up in Newark, NJ. Maybe next time, the parents should write a big tag that gives the destination and flight number and pin it on their kiddo. Maybe this way more “miscommunication” will be avoided.  Read the entire story here.

While we are on the subject of New York?

The FBI just released a new crime statistic and they say that New York “is the lowest of the 25 cities in the country that they checked.”  They ranked New York City at 246 on a list of 261 with cities having more than 100,000 citizens.  Just barely beating out Oakland California, a city that is so dog-gone bad, so crime ridden and miserable that McDonalds is now selling a “Happy To Be Alive Meal.”

Multi-tasking on the run.

This has to be the loser of the week.  Mr. James Coleman of Bristol, U.K., who became a national laughing stock when he cracked his skull on a low lying branch while simultaneously jogging to work and tweeting on this BlackBerry.

“Hurts” Coleman tweeted when he got up off the ground.

“Forget how tall I am.”

Have A Great Weekend, we will see you on Monday.

OOO

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)