Mayors Sippyhole

Early in the morning and the birds are singing, the dogs howl when the ambulance or the occasional fire truck races thru, sirens piercing the cool morning air.  I am sitting here, fresh cup of coffee staring at a blank screen wondering what in the world am I going to write about this day?  On days like this, it is often a chore to sit down to the keyboard which is devoid of idea’s or inspiration.  Also there is a fly in the mix too, been going on for a week or possibly two.

WORDPRESS AND MOZILLA FIREFOX SEEM TO BE EXPERIENCING PROBLEMS.  IF YOU TRY TO POST A PICTURE IN THIS MEDIUM AND AS I UNDERSTAND IT AND IN OTHER PLACES, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE A SHUT DOWN OR A CRASH.  SO NO PICTURE IN THIS POST, THE WORLDS LEADING BROWSER AND THE SECOND MOST POPULAR WORDWIDE WRITING COMMUNITY ARE NOT WORKING … HOW SAD IS THAT?  BUT AS WITH ALL THINGS YOU CANNOT MAKE ANYTHING “FOOL PROOF” AS US FOOLS ARE TOO INGENIOUS, WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY.

The City Fathers, that wonderful bumbling bunch of elected Meathead’s, figured a race and water sport program would be good for the populace.  So they held an even in the “Oklahoma River” downtown.  This is a seven mile section of the North Canadian River that gently flows through our state.  It at one time had the proud distinction of being the only river for miles around that had to be mowed two or three times per year with a brush hog.

okie riverOur elite Patriarchs of good community living, borrowed some $25 million from the feds, and they damned it up and then started what is now known as the “river project.”  In some area’s it is fairly nice, trails, biking environments and jogging, a better habitat for local species of birds and what have you.  But the river itself, like it or not, is something tantamount to a cesspool.

Very unhealthy, full of chloroform, fecal matter and all manner of nasty stuff.

What better a place to have a “water event?”  Yeah, right.  And lest all of you think I am up on the old soapbox and railingt against the elected and protected here is what Mike at OkieDoke had to say about it:

I say we name it the “Oklahoma Legislature River”. It would be quite appropriate. The Canadian usually moves at a leisurely pace, is murky, attracts vermin, and appeals mainly to fools and children. For short periods during the year it becomes fast and furious, at times exceeding its boundaries and causing severe damage. The vast majority is wide and shallow, with a very small portion being straight and narrow.

             Now it turns out that name is even more fitting today.

Derek Smithee, the water quality division chief of the Oklahoma Water Resources Board, said a six-mile section of the river near the boathouse is listed as “impaired” because of fecal coliform, sulfates and turbidity.

             Impaired, full of sh**, thick and stinky … and to think five years ago I was half joking.

I am not the only one who notices this putrid murky health hazard in our city.  So they (city bozo’s) invite 20 world class athletes to participate in this event downtown.  Now please remember, these are world class athletes, that means that they are for the most part “in great shape.”

So it came as a big surprise to these elected brain-dead benefactors that 18 of the 20 contestants in the event became very sick afterwords, vomiting and losing their lunch, and then later on, diarrhea and all manner of nasty afflictions showed up.

I believe the quote was “city officials are mystified as to recent developments on river sports event.”

When I am on vacation or traveling I buy local newspapers, I like to read up on what is going on.  We were in Santa Fe, New Mexico and I was reading this article I found quite fascinating.  It was about how someone at City Hall had figured out (all by himself evidently) that the water flowing out of the local sewage plant was “just going to waste.”

He was proposing instead of just dumping it, that they should pump it some five miles north of town, in a huge overflow pipe and dump it into the river that runs through town.  His reasoning for this would be “to have a river that has ample flows of water all year long, not just during the spring” and it would of course, be a tourist draw and good for the local economy.

People sure do funny things when it comes to rivers huh?

Load up and come on down to Okie City, ride our riverboats on our fake downtown river and Brick Town Canal (to nowhere).  See a ballgame, drink a .20 ounce 3.2 beer, for only $8.50, eat some ribs at Toby Keith’s.  Don’t forget your swimmin’ trunks, river is up, we had a good rain just the other day.  Oh yeah, all you folks in Santa Fe?  Flush hard, Albuquerque needs the water.

OOO