Danny is the latest member of the “Soon To Be Single Club.” He is in the ranks of the “unloved” and he isn’t liking it one bit, no sir. He looks at me like a kid who has just lost his last good friend in life and asks, “Why does divorce have to cost so damn much money?“
Which is not an easy question to answer halfway thru your two over easy, bacon, whole wheat toast and small orange juice, but I give it a shot. After all, I was once a rider with a paid for ticket on this social fun ride, so I give him what I consider the definitive answer on the subject.
There has been a lot of water under the bridge, but I can still remember the day I walked into the lawyers’ office and stated matter of factually, “I want a divorce.“
And he said to me, “How is it that you feel about this woman?” and I replied, “If she owned the last bar in the world, I wouldn’t stop there for a drink.“
He smiled, and said, “I will take the case.”
So having gone thru this traumatic life changing event in life, I feel somewhat qualified to proffer an answer to my friend. I say …. “Danny, divorce costs so much because it is worth it. It is worth every lousy dime and a little more.” (Some will take it one step further and say it is “the ***ing you get for the ***ing you got” … blanks are optional, you can figure it out, no prize sorry).
Just this week I was reading about another marriage made in Heaven that went bad.
A Swedish countess has asked a judge to negate her prenuptial agreement with the wealthy executive who is divorcing her, insisting she cannot possibly live on $43 million. Marie Douglas-David (this is what happens when you allow women to have three names by the way) wants at least twice that much from former United Technologies Corp. chief executive George David, 67, saying she has weekly expenses of $53,000.
Think about the absurdity of that last statement, “her weekly expenses are $53K per week.” That means that she needs roughly two and three-quarters of a million per year, just to get by, and you thought shopping for groceries was rough?
Her attorney said that David had figuratively “put a gun” to her head to get her to sign a pre-nup requiring her to survive on only $43 million. Which I have to admit, I kind of doubt.
Oklahoma has a 52% divorce rate the highest (if not the) rate in the nation. I also checked, at one time we led the country in unwed teenage mothers and a host of other “not so famous” social misadventures.
Our youth are being eaten alive by syphilis, gonorrhea, 67 other sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s). Yesterday on Dr. Phil they had an entire show devoted to “people who are marrying each other, and are virtual strangers, who do not know the person they married.”
Which if not downright sad, is just plain tragic.
I don’t understand the high cost of shrinking married populations in this country, I don’t understand that at all. It seems to me, an old married guy, that marriage is the best alternative there is out there, why would anyone want to be a dues paying member of the crap listed above?
So the next time your bride looks at you in that goofy special way they have and says, “We are doing alright honey, we have a marriage made in Heaven.”
Just smile, nod your head in acknowledgment and remember … That is the very same place they make Thunder and Lightning too.
Have a great weekend, we will see all of you on Monday.