Yummy – Yummy

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Police in Washington state said they’ve captured three people who bought Girl Scout Cookies with fake money.  Man, what is this world coming to?  When the scout leader took the receipts to the bank to deposit them she was told that she had two fake twenties.

Then, later on she found an additional $60 worth of fake bills in the cookie receipts of the girls for a total of about $100.  All of this occurred at a store west of Seattle.  Bad enough we are all screwin’ the pooch on this lousy economy but now they are down to the kids … what kind of statement is that on the condition of things in America these days.

An old man and his son are sitting at the table when the old man says to him, “Show me and your Ma some of thet college edumaycayshun we has been paying for.” So the boy thinks for a moment and then looks at his daddy and says, “Pie are square.”

There is a long drawn out hesitation in the room, it gets noticeably quiet, and then the old man looks at the woman who is across the room at a hot stove, fixin’ supper and replies, “See, I told you it was a waste a time to send him off to school.  Pie is round … cornbread is square.”

What you do not know, certainly will not kill you, is what my daddy used to say.  And I suppose to a certain point, he is right on that.  So if you are pregnant [Psychedelikat in Chicago] and with child, nursing or have a queasy easily upset stomach, you might want to hit forward and move onto something else .

This post concerns the consumption of unsavory items on a daily basis in America.  (sounds impotent doesn’t it?)

You are what you eat, that is what I hear, have heard it all my life.  You are what you eat.

Which brings me to this interesting article I just read that flatly states …. “the average adult in this country, will eat six spiders in his/her lifetime.”  Incredible huh?  According to this article this is a voluntarily act on your part also, you see, you are asleep in your bed and the spiders they crawl up onto your face, cross your lips and into your open mouth, and as a “voluntarily reflex” you start to chew.

Walla, no more spider.  (Now that I have sufficiently creeped some of you out to a point that is just beyond belief, I will continue)

pn-butter

Look at this peanut butter thing, man is that bad or what, first the plant in Georgia was located and identified and now they have an additional plant in Texas that has been shut down.  Whew, and we are supposed to live in an advanced and progressive, ahead of the rest of the world country.

Have you eaten any maggots, insects, or excreta today?

Of course you sit there in your breakfast nook with your fresh cup of Folgers and shake your head … “no … Oh, no …. no, no, no.” And you declare out loud to no one in particular except the family dog or Mr. Puffy the ruling cat of the home …  “of course not!”  I would NEVER eat any of those things.

But you do.

The FDA those wonderful people in Washington DC brought to you by the leaders of the economic stimulus and the new administration of empire builders call these repulsive items “natural contaminants.”  Just stopping short of “they are good for you!”

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm …  They’re Great!  As Tony, The Kellog’s Tiger would say.

Tomato Juice for example may “legally contain” up to but not to exceed “10 or more fly eggs per 100 grams” per can.  Which is somewhat equal to a small glass or to put it another way, 5 or more fly eggs per 100 grams and one or more maggots.”

Um, yummy – yummy.

An 18 ounce glass of peanut butter, which is what got the ball rollin’ on this post to begin with, can legally contain 145 bug parts or five or more rodent hairs.  Now that was the good news, here is the bad.

In a normal year, using these supplied statistics, we find that you are eating six spiders, and probably ingesting 1 to 2 pounds of flies, maggots, and various mice parts each 12 month period “without your knowing it.”

But remember the FDA admonishes us to not worry about it, these are mere aesthetic issues.  What you don’t know, won’t make you sick most of the time.

If you live in India you have another added bonus, I almost forgot.

A Hindu nationalist group in that country is developing a soft drink made from cow urine.  They believe that the cow is a sacred animal, and that anything that comes from the cow, is good for you.  It will be marketed as much for its health benefits as for its taste (I can only imagine!).  They believe that it has been established that this nourishing drink of the Gods from a cow can cure even cancer.

Gotta run ….. Lunch Time!

OOO

Cartoons courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

2 thoughts on “Yummy – Yummy

  1. Thanks for the pingback, Boxcar! Love the article. I agree, it’s a shame people are screwing the girlscouts with fake money. That’s just downright evil.
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    No thanks necessary but you’re welcome.

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  2. I guess we could just consider these items additional sources of protein. Or we could pretend we were practicing to become a contestant on “SURVIVOR’ where the frequently eat yucky stuff.

    Have a good day.

    P.S. The back is slowly getting better. Three more weeks of wearing the brace and then I can start PT. Thanks for asking.
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    Contrary to popular opinion, I do care about my readership! That is good news, PT sucks I had 18 months of it, bunch of young kids chanting “no pain … no gain” and of course I wanted to kill them.

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