Hard Fast Rule

Hello, did you miss me?

I wasn’t here yesterday with all you needed to know about everything that actually mattered, I took a day off.  One hard fast rule I have is to never write when I am depressed, sad, lonely or out of sorts.  I just feel like it just naturally reflects on what you put up in a negative way.

Yesterday was one of those kind of days, so I just floated one, and did not post anything.

So here we are, sailing along briskly in our sea of anxiety this Friday morning.  Shall we stop to consider that it is just possible that Mr. Obama is just to dog-gone nice to be our President?  That Google can now eye you right down to your cotton-picking front door, that A-Rod did steroids and has confessed.  I mean who gives a rat’s patooie about A-Rod and baseball to begin with?

How about the Populist uprising demanding that CEO compensation be limited to 500K for doing a crummy job on Wall Street.  Auto sales have plunged the past 12 months, home sales, now there is a hooter for ya, nothing good to report there either.  Creationism is OK as long as it’s not taught in schools.  And if you’re trying to sell a $5 cup of coffee, well good luck with that.  Things have gotten so bad I hear that Madonna has cut off two of her entourage and let them go.

Opened up my email this morning and the first thing I see is this.  “See the 87 people that searched for “Don Smith” including:

  • 3 people in OK
  • 46 people aged 56 – 66
  • 51 men
  • 36 women
  • Get alerts when there are NEW searches!”

It appears that I do have charisma, but it is for the same-sex, that was kind of disturbing.  Nothing like coming on line early in the morning and discovering that you are no longer a “Chick Magnet” man, that is a bummer.  These things always amaze me to no end.  Must be that new math or something?  “87 people were looking for me.”

46, 55-66, 51 men, 36 women … which is missing 41 people somewhere.

Wait it gets even better.

I can have all this and more!  All I have to do is cough up $6 per month.  Yeah right.  There is another ten minutes of my life I will not get back, looking at this electronic bullsh** they send out.  It would be nice to think that I could just reach up and check “block sender” and that would be the end of it, but unfortunately, that doesn’t always work.  One pesky woman who gives me problems, came shooting in under the radar this week, and I blocked her a long time ago.  Technology creates a big hole in my life … it sucks.

We Must Be Back In Kansas Toto.

Wichita Kansas – Hispanic parents are appealing a federal judge’s ruling upholding a Catholic school’s policy that students speak only English in school. The appeal was filed by three families who sued the Diocese of Wichita seeking to end the policy at St. Anne’s Catholic School. The judge ruled in August that the policy does not in itself create a hostile learning environment.

Here is a novel idea, you don’t like it here, you don’t want to speak English, then go back to Mexico.  People that speak English in this country make more money, think about that, unless you want to be a wage-slave the rest of your lives.  You walk by a store window and glance down at the sign and it reads:  “EXPERIENCE WATIRESS REQUIERED ENGLISH ESSENTUAL” and if you cannot read that, where is this going to leave you?

This is America …We speak English.

While we are in Kansas?  The Governor of that state announced this week that they are, much like California, going down the tubes and will run out of money.  It seems that everyone is running out of money, except Washington DC, that is.  She says that she will have to dip into an $225 million surplus fund in order to make it.  Must be nice, have a million dollar “surplus stashed away somewhere.”

Meanwhile back here at the ranch, the local cable TV company informs me that switching over to digital television (that only works marginally) was more expensive than they thought it would be and they want an extra $4.50 per month from me.  Hey, why not?  I am made out of money, just like everyone else, right?

Figuring a bail out is in order for me, we have started constructing our own version of the American Hoopie in the backyard tool shed, hope to have the first models off the line soon, thus, qualifying us for some kind of compensation.

carIf that doesn’t pan out, we also have begun the new “Oklahoma Bumper Sticker Project.”  Handy, catchy sayings that you can attach to the back of your car if you live in Oklahoma.

  • I am putting on Makeup.
  • I brake randomly for no reason.
  • I am about to cause a serious accident.
  • Sorry, we are low on turn signal fluid.
  • 40 MPH in the fast lane is fast enuff.
  • I am sort of paying attention.
  • I am like totally out of it.
  • I don’t play baseball and I don’t do steroids.  But I do vote.

Colorado — One of the two men who used “thong underwear” to cover up his face during a robbery was convicted and sentenced to 12 years in the pen this week.  Maybe while he is incarcerated, they might point out to him where the “skinny part of the underwear goes” which is of course, not the part you want to conceal your face with.  Some six to eight months later, and that still makes me chuckle, it makes me smile.

Aiken South Carolina – Prosecutors said two 10-year-old boys who tried to trade marijuana to their classmates for bubble gum or desserts won’t face drug charges. Authorities said 3 grams were found on two fourth-graders after their classmates told teachers. Authorities said they don’t know where the students found the marijuana, and are not sure the students knew what they were doing was wrong.

If this doesn’t work, there is always George Bush and David Letterman.  Ganked this from CrackerBoy this week, check it out.

If none of this cheered you up I am truly sorry, I gave it my best shot. True it wasn’t much, but it was the best I got. Try and have a good weekend and remember, “Fighting over stupid things means you’re sweating the small stuff … Big time.”


“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

8 thoughts on “Hard Fast Rule

  1. nice blog! one doesn’t often come across so well and fully expressed ideas. love the pic … it says everthing about Detroit. Laziness of a market dominance position.


  2. Your writing is very good and interesting; articulate. Keep blogging.
    However, I have much, much more respect for former President George Bush than I could ever have for Letterman.
    Well basically I have to agree, I feel the very same way, only “reversed.” Have a nice day.


  3. I just e-mailed you a YouTube video called “Did you know?” that will probably make you feel even more depressed but it’s a good one.
    Are the OK reps to the US Senate and the House taking any credit for items in the stimulus package that they voted against? Is OKs gov going to be one of those like Palin, Jindal and Perry who say they won’t take stimulus money? (I just wanted to give you something to think about so you won’t feel so bad.My husband’s back is acting up because stocks are tanking etc., and I’m the one who had surgery on my back. Guess I’ll loan him some of my Valium.)

    As Billy joel sang in “Goodnight Saigon,” “We’ll all go down together….”
    Wasn’t it Ben Franklin that said, “We can hang one at a time, or we can all hang together?” I am not sure. If you hubby doesn’t want to partake of the valium, I will gladly take his share.

    I don’t know if Oklahoma is going to refuse the money or not, we are a virtual hotbed of Republican’s (who everyone knows are obsessed with money), so it seems highly unlikely.

    We invested all our money in a pumpkin farm and we are hoping that they do not call off Halloween.

    Hope you back is better, here is one you will like OkieDoke.com


  4. Loved the video of Bush. It’s been a whole month now since he has held the office of President. Some things just get sweeter with time, and his absence from the White House is the sweetest thing I can think of at the moment.
    I can think of something a little sweeter, but if it is tainted, you are going to have to get shots for it afterwards. Drum roll ……… Take My Wife …….. Please!

    Kind of miss old shorty.



  5. I liked the Okiedokie plate but think I’d have declined it too, as there’d be too many fundamentalist christians trying to run me off the road!
    Thanks, the back is better. Only 4 more weeks of my “wonder Woman’ brace, as I call it. Have a good weekend!


  6. Even when you’re grouchy, you make me laugh. (That’s a compliment.)

    Que tenga un bien fin del semana!
    Or in Canadian, “Have a good weekend, eh!”
    La Vita Loca! (such is life) Thanks, I have found myself in some kind of blue funk all this past week, I don’t know what it is, but I just cannot seem to shake it.


  7. I think a lot of it has to do with the whole “f___ing” mess the World is in right now. Obama puts out a plan and people start screaming, “It won’t work” or “it will cost too much money” yada,yada,yada. Yet most of the neigh sayers aren’t coming up with anything at all. So far in the good old USA we haven’t gone to rioting in the streets-yet. Maybe we’re all being infected by our TV sets! I was thinking of doing what I heard a man did, who couldn’t get the new converter to work on his analog TV-he took a rifle and shot the TV. (Except I don’t have a gun of any kind!)
    Hopefully your blue funk will soon pass.


  8. I do not recommend shooting out the TV. I know Elvis shot out his TV but hr probably just went to the next room and did not miss an episode of anything.
    I have a brother who shot out his TV and lived to regret it.
    My husband used the old flatscreen for target practice. It was kind of cool, no glass just a lot of the white insulation stuff.
    None of this really matters does it? But having said that, A lot of things don’t really matter that people get all fired up about. And as I was told today , It isn’t even spring yet.
    Don’t remember any mention of “shooting televisions” in that piece, oh well? I have never thought of shooting the television, I did however, in a fit of rage, put a slug thru the ceiling in my living room and my first wife left me shortly thereafter, never did figure that one out.

    I still have a gun, but my temperament is a lot better now and the cost of ammo being what it is, makes it rather prohibitive.

    Funny you should mention this, the annual gunshow is at the fairgrounds this weekend. (I am in the market for a shotgun, I hear it is open season on squatty fat chicks who live south of Texarkanna.)

    I used to have this square piece of styrofoam (rubber) and I would throw that at the television, we called it the TV brick.


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